an add on to other posts

Just to add on to my previous post.... a list from a group I found on facebook.....

There are some things that guys should do for girls period.

The following is not a list of rules. They're suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. Take 'em or leave 'em.


0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don't provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they're simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.

1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that's stood the test of time.

2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?)

3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)

4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
("Putty in your hands" is not meant to promote "using women" in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)

5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.

6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)

7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.

8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory).

9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.

10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".

11. Ask her questions about herself.

12. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/e

tc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks.

13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.)

14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)

15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade!

16. Kiss her on the forehead.

17. When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.

18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!

19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).

20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!

21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.

22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.

23. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)

24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).

25. Don't be too proud to apologize.

26. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.

27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.

28. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.

29. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.

30. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some". Pull this in front of your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, she has every right to clock you in the jaw.

31. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]

32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]

33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)

34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!

35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.

36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**

37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.

38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.

39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.

Oh love again....

Tonight when I was hanging out with some friends. One being one of my best friends who recently started dating someone. This someone also being a friend. I thought that it was going to be completely weird. But it wasn't as bas as I had thought it would be. In some ways I now think that I always thought of them together. Though it does concern me how fast the feelings are going at least from one of the sides of the party. Which of course got me thinking while sitting in the middle of all these couples tonight.

What am I looking for?

At this point yes I am happy with me and I really am not actively looking. That being said if someone came along I would not be against it. I just am not looking actively. I now know what I want more then I did a year ago and even more then I did 4 months ago.

I want someone that loves God. Not just someone that has faith and believes. But actively loves God. In the idea that what they do is to explore God and know him better.

I want someone that has strong value of family. That their family is very important to them. This also means not dysfunctional.

I want someone that goes the extra mile. I love flowers. Only ONCE has anyone ever brought me flowers and that was when I turned 6. Presents no matter how big...are a wonderful thing. I am special and worth it!

I want a gentlemen. I like having the door opened for me. I like being treated special cause I am!

I want someone else to do the work. I have never dated someone that I haven't made the first move with. It is time to find someone that will instead.

I have no question that this person is out there and sometimes I think closer then I think. When the time is right then I know that God will place this person in the right place at the right time. It's the whole patients thing! As a woman like most we hate waiting for things.

Are you one of these people?

I was lying in bed last night and had the perfect idea for my next blog post. It was so perfect that I completely forgot what it was that I felt so compelled to write about. Maybe it was the utter exhaustion that I felt or maybe it was the time in the early morning that I thought of such a thing no matter what it was it really left no impression on me what so ever. So instead of the most perfect of topics that may some day return to me, I would rather dive deep into the world of the interweb and talk about the ettiquet or lack there of in the world of Messanging.

http://www.practicaletiquette.com/messenger-etiquette.html

But in my own words I thought that I would share my pet peeves of the wonderful world of MSN. This is the list of the people that we all find in the world of intsant messanging.

1.) The at home and away person....Away is a way for short periods of time. Not for extented periods like the whole day or even hours at a time. If you are gone for that long just sign out!

2.) The always talking but have nothing important to say person...If I am online and you too are online then it is alright give me a hello but if you are just there shooting the breeze and have huge gaps in the conversation then just don't start.

3.) The online but increadably busy person...The person that is always way too busy for any type of conversation yet they are status is online. IF you are busy then either change your status to busy or just sign out.

4.) The always busy person... No one really can be that busy all the time. IF your that busy just sign out!

5.) The random conversation person... feel always like starting a conversation in the middle of it. feel that the conversation makes no real sense. IF the english languge was good enough for Jesus and Shakspear it is good enough for the rest of us.

6.) The always online person...No one can ever be online that much. IF you are then there is somthing called a life away from the computer. There is a place called outside, I'm sure you might like it.

7.) The never start a converstion person...They always seem to talk when you start the conversation but are never willing to start the conversation first. IF you are online then be willing to start a conversation!

8.) The phantom person...You know the one...or do you really? the never seem to be online or they always just sign out when you come online. They are just to fast for you to ever chat with them. If you want to be a friend then be one.

9.) The offline online person...IF you are having computer problems that sign you out then you have to sign back in 20 times within a 5 minute period. Just don't bother unless it is so extremely important that you will just die if you don't tell that one person, then that is alright. But if you need to that bad then Graham Bell did invent a somewhat older yet more reliable device called the telephone.

10.) The one person you don't know...There is always one...for me it is someone with the sceen name CJ. I have no idea who they are. They never talk to me and I never talk to them. What makes this worse though if you have that one typ of these who really do seem to know you and you have no idea who they are.


These are just a few...the top ten if I could say. There are many, many more like the acrynomes person or the we were friends 6 years ago and I still have you on my list. If you fall into these such types of people then I am sorry. I know that I fall into some of them myself. It is almost like no one knows what is proper and respectful in the world of the internet. Not like many people know what proper manners and etiquette are these days there seems to be a lack in some generations about the truely traditional manners that past generations have followed.

Can there ever be a return to proper manners?

A Big Blessing!

My beautiful new niece Emma Alexandra!

check out more of my passion for black and whites again....

Black and Whites