Sunday, December 28, 2008

Were Did 2008 go and why can't I have it back?

What a year! I knew that it is really geeky to do a year in review. I wish that I was less geeky then I am I guess. I just feel like I need to highlight the challenges and the journey's I have had. Well, maybe it is not so much a year in review as a look back over my life's journey the last year. The things I have learned and the things that I want to share. As we finish up the Christmas season in the secular way. (Wahoo for the Church calendar as we are not quite done with Christmas...that is till my favorite season of all, in the Church year that is Epiphany!) So, maybe this is a review to start the next season in life the next phase in the spiritual life.

So, lets just say that it is the unpacking of this year in preparation for repacking for next year.
This is what I picked up as items packed and items that are souvenirs. ( I feel that Charles would be so proud of my theory.)

Life is hard...I know a big shock to everyone's understanding. I know, huge Epiphany there. No, I mean it really is hard. I never knew how hard it was till this past year. See what everyone has gone through in my family. Some times it is so hard that is sucks! With my Dad and all it has been hard and ever so trying. Flying from Calgary to Toronto...and back and forth and back and forth. The strength to just survive the airport in Toronto alone is unbelievable, let alone while ill. I still marvel at that. My Dad's strength to go on in life is something that I have learned to admire. He didn't ask to be sick or did he make himself sick. Yet, he blames no one. There is little talk about going after the people that made him sick. It happened in the past and I guess there is no reason to be angry about it.

My Mom is a rock. I have seen her go through a lot this year. I mean her name should be Peter. For she is the Rock that our family is built on. She still amazes me by what she did and is doing for not only my Dad but for my whole family I am blessed to have her as my Mom. I have learned to give more then I receive from her. I am not a good receiver because of it. I have learned to take care of those that need it. She has taught me the meaning of God giving you what you can handle. With every new thing she takes it in stride.
She is still teaching me about what type of Mother I want to be some day and a wife. .I still remember the most heartbreaking moment is last Christmas when my Mom came home after seeing my dad in the hospital and he wasn't looking good and she curled up and bed with me. (my mom and I slept together a lot then for comfort more then anything.) She said to me "He's my whole world." I want someone to be my whole world and for me to be theirs.

I am okay by myself. I know my last blog really went over it. BUT just to go over it. I went to Japan and Korea...It still feels like a dream...I went all by myself...I can do things that I want to do just with myself. It's not just that though. I lived the better part of a year all by myself. I did survive. I ate and cooked and got around. I went to the museum and out to brunch on a Sunday all by myself. I still have that great memory that I will never give up. I could live the rest of my life with myself and I could be okay. This is not saying that this is the greatest desire that I have for my life. I want to get married and I do want a family. But, I am okay till then!

God is Great! I know that is something that you should be reminded of all the time. But in the past year I have had encounters with people and moments that I know that God exists. There are moments...Lunch with Vickie by the beach and most beautiful place for shrine ever...Being Stuck on the mountain in Korea with Luke...Getting the medical plan for my Dad...Him going through and surviving everything that he has...The smile in that my nephew has when he laughs... My Niece's laugh...There are so many more big and little moments that make's me believe without a shadow of a doubt that God is Great! That God is the Father in heaven that blesses all with his presents! I do Love him like I could love anyone!

So, as this years journey ends and the next one begins....I hope I learn half as much or more of what I learned this year. I feel that I have been challenged and I feel that the challenges and learning experiences are not done in life. I just hope that maybe they will be a little less dramatic. I pray that everyone else learns and gains knowledge of what God is doing in there lives and takes the time to look back on the year and does there own unpacking and repacking.
For the journey never ends. The destination might look different but it is the gathering of experiences that you have that give the Epiphany journey some meaning. Work on the thing that looks unworkable. Take all you need and leave the rest. There are souvenirs that are worth taking home and others that are meant to cherish for a while and then be left in the end in the hotel room. I challenge everyone to unpack and repack for the new adventure is about to start.