Utterly Useless But Fun

Somewhere....

2010-02-12T20:01:00.002-07:00

Was just going back over some older song post that I have posted lately. They seem to have been posted in another life time. Life seemed much more romantic then it does now. The song "What if..." with the theme of pushing someone away. Leaving them to make it easier. Looking back at it now seems ridiculous and horrible concept. That someone would wish someone away. Though I did feel like someone wanted to wish me away... To push back after I had pushed them away. It fit that place and time. Now more then ever I want to play the song almost in reverse. Like the old adage about country songs. It hurts to go back there but it is good to feel something instead of the hole and emptiness. Just thinking about it makes me cold.

So Close....

2009-10-11T11:51:00.001-06:00

Just been watching a whole lot of Fairy Tales lately!

Just me and some mood songs!

2009-09-21T20:10:00.002-06:00

It's just a beautiful song! that I have recently fell in love with! It's got to be my present mood....

It is in contrast to the other song that I have on repeat right now....

I love this song to death!! She has a new one that is just as good! but again fits my mood lately!

2009-09-18T14:03:00.000-06:00

Disneyfide

2009-05-24T12:06:00.007-06:00

I know it has been forever since I have wrote anything. I had 2 weeks holidays as you all know. I went to Disney World. I have come back with a bunch of things to blog about.

I love Disney. I truly do. I will travel half way around the world and go to a Disney theme park cause I can and I am there. I have. This though was my first trip to Disney World and it is not my last. Everything is just so perfect when you are in the presents of Disney. From the moment we arrived at the Airport till the time we Departed from the Airport everything was Disneyfide. My new coined word. Some Disney folks might call it magic...you know the magic of Disney and all. Disneyfide is a state in which is so easy for everything. So unbelievably perfect. So, after the long wait at the Toronto Airport...Aircraft Servicing canceled or flight. We arrived in Orlando to get our luggage and proceed to The Magic Express to our Disney Resort. The Pop Century Resort is the one that we where staying at. After arriving and checking in and getting our Magic Cards (Keys to the kingdom is more like it.Room key, park passes, meal card all in one. You can even add a credit card that can be charged on that card.) We arrived in our hotel room and died!

The next morning we rose went for breakfast where we purchased our travel mugs (such the best deal) and headed on the Walt Disney World Transportation System to Hollywood Studio's. The first of all of the 3 out of 4 Disney World parks that we visited. It is your typical Studio experience. Our first order of business was to get our Fast Pass(another advantage to the magic cards) for the best ride in the park (if you ask my Aunt.) Toy Story Midway Madness. It was a great first park to visit. We had a lovely dinner at the 50's dinner a must for anyone. Get the Fried Chicken! Though for us Canadians 4 pieces of Chicken is a bit much. The service is like eating at home. It truly is. The artist in me said my favorite part was the drawing class in the animation studio. I learned how to draw Goofy.

The next fun filled day we were awakened to beautiful sunny weather. Day two was Epcot. A day filled with how many different countries we can see in one day. We even got to visit our home land! We did go on my new favorite ride, Soarin'. It is a a video ride that makes you feel like you are flying. I loved it! I want to go back just to ride that one! Mission space was another great one. Nothing like feeling like you are flying in space. Then there was the test track. Again a great ride and love the feeling of the wind in my hair. We went for lunch and got fish and chips. They were lovely. Ate lunch with a lovely American couple.

The Canada pavilion.... Is lovely, the 360 movie was great it shows the beauty of our country well. I could even see my house in a couple shots. It is a good! I am proud of almost all of it. The only question I have....When was the last time you wore red and black plaid flannel shirts with brown heavy canvass skirts and lumberjack boots?
I know that I for sure did not bring them with me on this trip! We had Calpis at the Japan pavilion! My aunt loved it! We had dinner at the German Restaurant where they pronounced my last name right!!! With there cute little German accents!

Day three was again a lovely Florida day. It was Magic Kingdom day! Wahoo! oh, yeah also my Birthday! Wahoo! I have one thing to say. A Birthday at Disney is going to be the hardest thing to top! You get to wear a button and everyone wishes you happy birthday. You feel more birthday like then just at home! plus getting money to spend helps as well! After riding Pirates of the Caribbean 3 times the haunted mansion 3 times and Peter Pan twice and yes even It's a Small World. We watched the Celebration Parade. With the song that we learned to love to hate. Now as I type I have it going through my head. grrrr.... We went for my Birthday supper at Tony's Town square restaurant. In which I had Shrimp Scampi. (which I found out that my Birthday is shrimp scampi day after my birthday.) We watched the fire works and headed home.

The forth day we woke to another sunny day and headed again to Magic Kingdom. This time to do the other side of the park, tomorrowland and Mickey's Toon Town Fair. We learned that it is a good thing that my Aunt is not a driver as we did Tomorrowland speedway. I was saddened to learn that my favorite Disney ride was closed. (Space Mountian by the way) We went back to ride our favorites from the day before. We covered all that we could. I even got to ride splash mountain and get soaking wet.
Dinner this night was at The Liberty Tree Tavern. DayThis was again a great meal. Not like we had a bad meal in Disney. It was good to have the dinning package that you handed them your magic card and the bill went to all zero's was neat. The meal here as family style serve yourself and it was delicious. Ham, turkey and beef with potatoes, green beans, buns with honey butter, salad and apple crumble for dessert. It was awesome!

Day five was the slowest and laid back. We were tired after going for the first 4 days from dawn to past dusk. We went shopping at downtown Disney and had lunch at an Irish pub. It was a good time. We then just relaxed and watched the story of the Swine flu unfold on CNN. It was a good relaxing day.

Day Six was home day. We where up early getting on the magic express back to the airport in which we waited to check into our flight and got on no problems. We returned home truly exhausted and just couldn't believe how easy the trip really was.

I can't tell anyone enough how much I enjoyed my Disney World experience. I will go back. I am actually counting down the days till I can go again. I am willing to take anyone that wants to go with me. To truly understand the idea of Disneyfide you need to experience it for yourself. So if anyone is up to go....I will be there....

The Distance.....

2009-04-23T13:35:00.002-06:00

One of my all time favorite songs....

you are coming back.....

One Moment More - Mandy Smith

2009-04-02T12:11:00.002-06:00

I am just in love with this song! Maybe it is because I am loosing my bestfriend to another year in Korea. Just makes me a little sad.

Dawson's Music

2009-03-20T17:42:00.006-06:00

Well, As some of you out there know that I have alittle bit of a love for the show Dawson's Creek. Okay, it is a big love. It was my first tv show that I love. Some might say it was my first love ever. I loved the teenage soap and drama of it all. It was a sad day when Dawson's Creek had there very last show. Since the show has ended I have collected all the seasons of the show and watch them probibly more then I should. But I continue to watch over and over and over again. Yes like anything I have my favorite episodes and characters. (Team Joey and Pacey all the way.) It was one of the first big shows that used music in a way that effected me. Much of the music formed and shaped some of the memories that I had of the time in my life. The music on the seansons on DVD when I finally finished collecting them all is different then what they used on the show. Due to getting permission to use the songs on the show and then on the DVD. Some songs are ones that they wanted to use on the show and couldn't or that they can't use on the DVD for other reasons.Which I was sad and not so sad about. It has given me new meaning to moments in the show that had a different song in placed of the more familiar. It gave me as deeper thoughts about some moments. One of the songs it called "if you came back to me" by Tommy Holmes. The lyrics and melody and his voice I just love.

If You Came Back to Me

if you came back to me right now
i'd have i million things to say to you if you came back to me right now
i'd probably forget than all
if you came back to me
i'd have you looking inside this hole me
if you came back to me right now
if you came back to me
do you feel anything
anything at all
do you think it's worth the pain..
worth the pain
if you came back to me right now
i'd say the world to turned out right
and if you came back to me right now
i'd say i'm doing fine
if you came back to me
i'd have to close my eyes and open them again
if you came back to me right now
if you cam back to me
do you feel anything at all
do you think it's worth the pain
worth the pain
do you feel anything at all
do you feel anything
i give my body yeah
i give my body and soul
i don't want you to be my girl

i don't want you to be my girl

I can't find a video for it. I can't even find it to download at all. I am going to put up the link to his myspace page so you too can hear it.

Tommy Holmes Myspace

2009-03-18T17:00:00.001-06:00

Chivalry...living or dead...we want it back!

2009-03-03T17:34:00.006-07:00

I have been obsessing over the Twilight series the last week and a half. Almost 2 weeks now. Yes, I have become one of them. Just like a Jr High girl, I know. But they are good. They are not just some vampire books. They are a great love story and I could read it over and over again. I was thinking about the story as I explain it to others all the time when I am telling them about the book. As I have explain many times that the story could be told with something other then vampires. As far as anything it is a different view and statement of Romeo and Juliet. All you need to know it the characters are different and that they want to be together anyways. They fight to be together. This is not a new concept at all. It is a very old one. But, such a tried and true formula. We always cheer for the under dog.

Since like every other girl on the planet that has read the Twilight series, I have fallen in love with the Character of Edward. He is every girls perfect man(/boy?). For me I have always been in love with the little things. Yes, they are my favorite. It is not the big grand gestures that get me all excited about some one. It is the little things. That is what I love about Edward. Every girl has fallen in love with a character so much because he has the traits that we are missing in the world when we look at men today. This generation, mine and the next and even the next are missing the key piece of training or knowledge that has not been passed down. The idea of gentlemanly manners. Chivalry.

Girls want someone to hold the door for them. They want someone to open there car door for them. They want to be made to feel special. They want not to worry about picking up the cheque. They want to be taken care of. That is why we love Edward so much. He is that guy. He does hold the door open for them. He dose open the car door for you. He makes you feel special. He protects and takes care of you. That is what I want. That is what most girls want.

So if there is any guys out there that are questioning what we girls want. Wondering if what they are doing is not working. Work on the classics. Know the right moves. That is the way to any girls heart! Well at leat mine!

What's in a name....a rose by any other name would be as sweet....

2009-02-20T12:02:00.002-07:00

For those of you that do not know or who don't remember what I do. I work in the call center. I do enjoy my job. I has though let me come to realize that there are some names of childern out there in the world that I wonder why you would want to name your child. I have this list that I have started at work. Some yes I know that they are cultural. But even still I ask even beg parents to realize what you are doing to your children. As people add to what names they feel to be new and different. I am finding that one day all the traditional names will again become new and different as the ones that seem very different right now. Naming you child something different is not going to make them more unique. The way that people are naming there children now. The more unique the name is the more the same it will be for everyone else. I feel as though we are reaching back yes to the 60's and 70's with the moonbeam and starlight names. But in some ways they seem more ridiculus. So, after the ramblings that I have just done I give you the short list of names that I will never name my child.

20.Fabio
19. Edwina
18. Tayleesha
17. Blaise
16. Andelaine
15. Patton
14. Murdock
13. Priscilla
12. Kimball
11. Primerose
10. Chrisdalann
9. Thurston
8. Blaze
7. January
6. Ryven
5. Fawn
4. Buffy
3. Starlette
2. Blue Jay
1. Trust-In-the-Lord

I just ask those who are naming there childern to consider also what the name does when it is put against your last name. Understand the gift of a name for your child they have to live with for the rest of there life. Long after you have pass on that name is what they will have to use on there documentation. Yes, I do realize that they will havbe the option of changing there name. But that right only comes when they reach the age of 18 and till then they have to walk around the school being called Fawn. So, when you are looking for those ever so unique names that everyone is dying for there children to have. Look back to the more usual names. Though don't get me started on the spelling of names. Spell it like is should be. Don't start getting fancy with the spelling. Cause comes time to go kindergarten these children have to learn how to spell these names. Please make it easy for them. Think how hard it is on the teacher to try and explain why there name has a silent letter that doesn't make any sense or why they have an y instead of an i. Cause a y would be more unique. So, think traditional or at least not plant,animal, time or place wise. Don't name them something you would not want to be named yourself. Please spell it like it sounds or the traditional spelling. The more common the name the more unique they will be with the class of Surrey, Apple, Paxton and so on.

Were Did 2008 go and why can't I have it back?

2008-12-28T19:49:00.004-07:00

What a year! I knew that it is really geeky to do a year in review. I wish that I was less geeky then I am I guess. I just feel like I need to highlight the challenges and the journey's I have had. Well, maybe it is not so much a year in review as a look back over my life's journey the last year. The things I have learned and the things that I want to share. As we finish up the Christmas season in the secular way. (Wahoo for the Church calendar as we are not quite done with Christmas...that is till my favorite season of all, in the Church year that is Epiphany!) So, maybe this is a review to start the next season in life the next phase in the spiritual life.

So, lets just say that it is the unpacking of this year in preparation for repacking for next year.
This is what I picked up as items packed and items that are souvenirs. ( I feel that Charles would be so proud of my theory.)

Life is hard...I know a big shock to everyone's understanding. I know, huge Epiphany there. No, I mean it really is hard. I never knew how hard it was till this past year. See what everyone has gone through in my family. Some times it is so hard that is sucks! With my Dad and all it has been hard and ever so trying. Flying from Calgary to Toronto...and back and forth and back and forth. The strength to just survive the airport in Toronto alone is unbelievable, let alone while ill. I still marvel at that. My Dad's strength to go on in life is something that I have learned to admire. He didn't ask to be sick or did he make himself sick. Yet, he blames no one. There is little talk about going after the people that made him sick. It happened in the past and I guess there is no reason to be angry about it.

My Mom is a rock. I have seen her go through a lot this year. I mean her name should be Peter. For she is the Rock that our family is built on. She still amazes me by what she did and is doing for not only my Dad but for my whole family I am blessed to have her as my Mom. I have learned to give more then I receive from her. I am not a good receiver because of it. I have learned to take care of those that need it. She has taught me the meaning of God giving you what you can handle. With every new thing she takes it in stride.
She is still teaching me about what type of Mother I want to be some day and a wife. .I still remember the most heartbreaking moment is last Christmas when my Mom came home after seeing my dad in the hospital and he wasn't looking good and she curled up and bed with me. (my mom and I slept together a lot then for comfort more then anything.) She said to me "He's my whole world." I want someone to be my whole world and for me to be theirs.

I am okay by myself. I know my last blog really went over it. BUT just to go over it. I went to Japan and Korea...It still feels like a dream...I went all by myself...I can do things that I want to do just with myself. It's not just that though. I lived the better part of a year all by myself. I did survive. I ate and cooked and got around. I went to the museum and out to brunch on a Sunday all by myself. I still have that great memory that I will never give up. I could live the rest of my life with myself and I could be okay. This is not saying that this is the greatest desire that I have for my life. I want to get married and I do want a family. But, I am okay till then!

God is Great! I know that is something that you should be reminded of all the time. But in the past year I have had encounters with people and moments that I know that God exists. There are moments...Lunch with Vickie by the beach and most beautiful place for shrine ever...Being Stuck on the mountain in Korea with Luke...Getting the medical plan for my Dad...Him going through and surviving everything that he has...The smile in that my nephew has when he laughs... My Niece's laugh...There are so many more big and little moments that make's me believe without a shadow of a doubt that God is Great! That God is the Father in heaven that blesses all with his presents! I do Love him like I could love anyone!

So, as this years journey ends and the next one begins....I hope I learn half as much or more of what I learned this year. I feel that I have been challenged and I feel that the challenges and learning experiences are not done in life. I just hope that maybe they will be a little less dramatic. I pray that everyone else learns and gains knowledge of what God is doing in there lives and takes the time to look back on the year and does there own unpacking and repacking.
For the journey never ends. The destination might look different but it is the gathering of experiences that you have that give the Epiphany journey some meaning. Work on the thing that looks unworkable. Take all you need and leave the rest. There are souvenirs that are worth taking home and others that are meant to cherish for a while and then be left in the end in the hotel room. I challenge everyone to unpack and repack for the new adventure is about to start.

Top 10 Things I learned from my trip!

2008-11-27T14:50:00.002-07:00

10. That Canadians are liked by most people

9. That Celebrities do have it rough

8. That being Caucasian in an Asian Country is a little like being a celebrity

7. Vending Machines should be everywhere in all countries. Not limited to drinks either!

6. That North Americans in any service industry that gets tipped have it easy. To tip is an insult in Japan and Korea

5. Chopsticks - Japan so easy and regular. Korea flat metal and easy once you get use to them.

4. Rice - eat all in Japan or you insult the host. Don't eat all in Korea or you haven't had enough to eat

3. Japanese people have a large addiction to fuzzy mickey mouse ears and hats.

2. Ontario really is the center of the universe...well according to Koreans. Koreans like to talk about Ontario. Japanese like to talk about the Mountains.

1. Calpis

my trip!

2008-11-26T19:27:00.004-07:00

I have returned from my trip not the same as I left. I feel that I have changed. I feel like I have grown. I am guessing that all trips should make you feel this way. You learn new things on new adventures whether they are great international trips or road trips across this great nation of ours or if you fly in a plane for hours or travel in a car for days. I feel that all journeys are important and are indeed moments of growth are within them.
I feel I have come back stronger then what I left. I have learned that I can be alone. I can eat by myself, I can tour a city by myself, and I can enjoy Disneyland alone. I am okay alone! I feel stronger because of it! I feel whole.
God lead me on this trip. Every aspect of me going on this trip was easy. I had more money then I need to be able to go. Every time I turned around I was getting money in the mail from pension pay outs or some other thing. God wanted me to go. I wanted to go. I needed to go.
I feel now that I can go anywhere and do anything. Once you have mastered 2 things I feel like you can travel anywhere. First, the point and order (this is really key in Asia, they are fans of pictures on there menus). You need no language connection if you can point to what you want. Always look for the picture menus. Second and equally as important is Charades. If you can mime it they will eventually know what you are looking, asking, telling them about. This is really useful in the case of a search of a washroom (toilet).
There are some things that I feel that one should know languge wise when travelling...Hello and thank you. When you are a tourist being polite Canadian is what you want to be. I felt that I never learned these 2 things in Korea and I wish I knew them.
So, you know when you are doing something that is going to be a great adventure but you really don't realize it. The ah ha Epiphany moment, (thank you charles!) that you have at any moment on an adventure or journey. I had a couple, first one would be when I first got to Tokyo and I am following the direction that my little hotel has give to get there. I have taken the limo bus to another hotel. I get a cab with the automatic door and a driver with a hat and white gloves. As I hand over the address to my hotel. This is where I need to explain addresses in Japan. First of all I should say I never knew this till later in my trip. Addresses in Japan are for a general area not to a direct location. Like one might say that my address could be 1013-7-10, Huntington hills, Calgary. Yup, very descriptive. So, I was in a taxi where the driver punch's the address in to the GPS and comes up with the route that the GPS gives it to get to my hotel. Well, GPS does not know about buildings and other things that get in the way of the most direct routes in Japan. I am in the taxi where the driver gets lost and somewhat confused by the directions the GPS has given him. He starts what I think of as swearing in Japanese. Me not knowing any Japanese at all and not understanding what he is say. I can tell by the tone of voice and his body languge that this is not a good situation for him. There are 3 things that are going through my mind at this point in time. First, This guy is wishing that this white person didn't get into his taxi to begin with. Second, I have no way of helping him at all and lastly and the factly the most important thing..."Wholy sh$t I am in Japan and what the hell was I thinking that I could do this all by myself. I don't know the languge. I don't know anyone.what am I doing here." The driver did turn around when we got to a gate that we could not go through and did get me there safe and sound. I was ever so releved to see the outside of the hotel that I had seen in pictures!
My second one is much more personal. The whole trip was the ah ha I can do this by myself. I can travel and figure things out by myself. If I needed to I can do it. I could live in a foreign country and enjoy it even. Or at least know enough to get by.

Stormy Cloudy Love?

2008-06-29T23:01:00.004-06:00

There has been tons of stuff flying and floating around in my head this past while. It all seems somewhat always there. In the middle of all this mixed up and tossed around thoughts. I am trying to find God. I am fighting to figure out what God wants from me. I know what I want. But would like to factor God into this equation as well. Maybe it just my rationalization of life and yes love that I am too good at. Maybe my sister is right. I am waiting for that fairytale romantic notion of what love is as seen in the countless movies that I do watch. Maybe as one has said, "You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in the movie."

It has seemed as of late that there is and has been plenty of focus on love. People I know starting out those buddy romances,people getting married, people trying to fix me up with people, And People questioning my romantic love life or lack there of.

I thought that I was sure of when you know you know...But how do you know? What makes one realize who the right one for them is?

when the perfect song finds you in the perfect mood

2008-06-20T22:59:00.000-06:00

"Don't Wanna Think About You"
by Simple Plan

Can you leave me here alone now
I don't wanna hear you say
That you know me
That I should be
Always doin what you say

Cuz I'm tryin to get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I Don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
I won't let you bring me down
Cuz I know
I don't wanna think about you

Don't wanna think about you

When I wake up here tomorrow
Things will never be the same
Cuz I won't wait
Cuz you won't change
And you'll always be this way

Now I'm gonna get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
This time I won't let you bring me down
Won't let you shut me out
This time I know
I don't wanna think about you

Run away
Run away
Running as fast as I can
Run away
Run away
I'll never come back again
Run away
Run away

Don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
Don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna talk this one out

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out (figure this out)
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
This time I won't let you bring me down (bring me down)
Won't let you shut me out (shut me out)
This time I know
I don't wanna think about you

Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you
Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you
Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you

New Camera...New Photo!

2008-06-05T17:56:00.001-06:00

2008-04-25T17:32:00.005-06:00

My sister keeps telling me that I have a gift. I am starting to believe that I do. I take sometimes beautiful pictures of Children.

I Miss You!

2008-04-07T11:43:00.002-06:00

When You're Gone
BY AVRIL LAVIGNE

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

Missing You
BY AMY GRANT

Your smile lights up a room
Like a candle in the dark
It warms me through and through
And I guess that I had dreamed
We would never be apart
But that dream did not come true

[Chorus:]
Missing you is just a part of living
Missing you feels like a way of life
I'm living out the life that I've been given
But baby I still wish you were mine

And I cannot hear the telephone
Jangle on the wall
And not feel a hopefull thrill
And I cannot help but smile
At any news of you at all
And I guess I always will

[Chorus]

Diamonds....

2008-01-23T20:12:00.000-07:00

Coffee Shop
by Landon Piggs

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I'm shining too

Because oh because
I've fallen quite hard over over you

If I didnt know you, I'd rather not know
If I couldnt have you, I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while, I never knew

All of the while , all of the while

I am absolutely in love with this song. I fall for songs every once and a while. (I am a sucker for anything acoustic. If you play acoustic I could love you forever!) I fell in love with this song like most who have heard it in the diamond commercial. (diamonds are forever) Though every time I watch the commercial I am slightly irritated. Why one would ask...because of the context in which the song is used. Do to the lyrics. The first verse is what is used in the commercial.

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too

So, like me a hopeless romantic that I am. I picture the perfect proposal moment as I hear the lyrics. Really I see my proposal moment. I see candle light, roses, chocolate and this song either being played to me or in the background. It is perfect.

But the real commercial falls short of all these dreams.

why?

2007-11-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a decision made for you?

I am not one of those non romantic types that are all bitter about love. I have never been. It is my dream to get married. I want to fall in love. But right now I just want to punch strangers in there cute loving relationships. Not only strangers but friends and others.

What does this have to do with the question "Have you ever had a decision made for you?" you should be asking right now?

Because I have... some what recently and I might not be in full agreement with the decision. Though it looks like I can't change it. This is where the bitterness comes from. I don't think that it is the right decision. I don't agree...why can't I tell him that? The decision was mine to make....but it was made for me. I want what I want....and right now I want to try again with you....

----------------
Now playing: Serena Ryder - Weak In the Knees
via FoxyTunes

hmmmm

2007-10-28T19:39:00.000-06:00

"Come In With The Rain"
By Taylor Swift

I could go back to every laugh,
But I don't wanna' go there anymore,
And I know all the steps up to your door,
But I don't wanna' go there anymore.

Talk to the wind, talk to the sky,
Talk to the man with the reasons why,
And let me know what you find.

I’ll leave my window open,
‘Cause I’m too tired at night to call your name.
Just know I’m right here hopin’,
That you’ll come in with the rain.

I could stand up and sing you a song,
But I don’t wanna’ have to go that far.
And I, I’ve got you down,
I know you by heart,
And you don’t even know where I start.

Talk to yourself, talk to the tears,
Talk to the man who put you here,
And don’t wait for the sky to clear.

I’ll leave my window open,
‘Cus I’m too tired at night to call your name.
Oh, just know I’m right here hopin’,
That you’ll come in with the rain.

I’ve watched you so long,
Screamed your name,
I don’t know what else I can say.

But I’ll leave my window open,
‘Cus I’m too tired at night for all these games.
Just know I’m right here hopin’,
That you’ll come in with the rain.

I could go back to every laugh,
But I don’t wanna’ go there anymore…

HAHAHA...I laugh at sickness!

2007-10-11T20:06:00.000-06:00

I started a completely different post that I wanted to write about but then...like a bat in the night so unexpected and yet so real I was dealt some new cards. Yes, I know really bad humor does not make me funny either does really good jokes for that matter or even mixed metaphors but I digress.

Maybe it might just be the ever so long hours I have spent in a horizontal position or it might just be some of the antibotics doing some more not agreeing with me. But some how I feel smarter and more witty. Thought not witty enought to say name my child Arnold, but some how better then I was before. I might be going a little stir crazy from all my time spent alone in bed watching way too much bad tv or it might be all the funny comments I make with my Dad when we are visiting the Clinic for the second time in two days. It could also be that I was actually feeling better on Sunday and Monday then out of no where Monday night I am lying awake feeling ever so cold. I think though part of it has to do with me pointing out the irony that I always seem to be on Penicillin an my own Father is severly allergic to Penicillin, thus as the sick and somewhat humors universe therefore makes me react to the Penicillin myself. Oh, how great life is. But as I sat in the Lab Services clinic waiting for them to take some blood tests I found it ever so amusing that I, Jen was getting Mono tests done. Yes folks I might have Mono! And where does one get the kissing disease from when you are over the normal range that it found most often (13-18 yrs). Well, being as though I work in a school. I must have gotten it from a child! Can life be more funny! I think not!

Real humanity?

2007-09-30T21:31:00.000-06:00

Been finding myself watching The Hour on CBC lately. Maybe it is because the news is so hard to watch lately. Or maybe it is because of George. But awhile ago he had a man on that hosts this blog. Ever since I found it I have been checking on a regular basis. Reminds me of the reality of humanity.

So check it out! http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Where's my umbrella???

2007-09-12T16:35:00.000-06:00

I would in no way state that my life is either supremely eventful or exciting. I know that like most I have moments. But all in all I feel that I have been blessed with a typical middle class life. I am in no way saddened that this is so. I rather relish in the predictability of it. The greatest joy comes from the aspects of same and ordinary aspects of the daily tasks. Where is this going you ask?

I am not one for drama in my life. I do not have all the wild antics of The Real World in my life. That being said I feel as though a storm is brewing on the horizon. I see it coming and I know that I can't get out of the way. I am not sure if there is a big enough Umbrella in all of Rihanna's songs is going to keep me dry. I am not sure how it is all going to end. I pray that it ends well and that I end up dry somehow by the grace of God.

I ask for prayer.

What I have your learned this summer?

2007-08-25T14:58:00.000-06:00

I have learned so much this summer. It has almost been better then any course in school (of course not including a Charles course). It is being at the time and place in your life in which you are no longer going to be young for the rest of your life. As my mom has said " I have seen you really grow up this summer." That I have!

Things that I learned this summer...

1. Never work for someone that you don't have complete confidence in.

2. Love is not where it ends...it is not where it begins either....

3. The best jokes ever!

4. That the perfect husband to a seven year old has to be nice and cute.

5. Some kids life stories would fill more pages then mine and that's before they turn fourteen.

6. The best laid plans of mice and men...never go as planned.

7. Some friends you just seem to grow out of.

8. It's good to have a quite home

9. The best times are the unexpected ones!

10. Minor high jinx is just a plain good time!

Becoming a responsible adult is something that most people do sometime in there life and I just am finding that I have become one sooner then most of my friends!

What a Sunday!

2007-06-24T20:24:00.000-06:00

Wow! The first and only thing that comes to my mind after the Sunday that I had today. Even though it is not over I know it has been one that will be with me for a while. I went to church this morning like any other Sunday. But switched it up by going to the church of some friends. The morning started with a bus adventure downtown then to catching the train and walking the little distance from the train to Christian Publications where I was meeting my friends. Who in the end were half an hour late. So, standing around Christian pub for almost an hour, since I am one of those people that like to be early, I got to thinking those overly complex things that one should not think about that early in the morning. It was about the direction that I want my life to go. Big thoughts and big decisions. Things that I have been praying about on a regular basis.

So, off to church we finally go. The Pastor was speaking about sacrificing and therefore living a fuller life. That working hard for the best then giving it up so that someone else might receive it. Not only is a great reward for the person that gets the best but also the giver. This then brought me back to what I was thinking about earlier, that I need to give something else to get what is better. To give it up because God has something better for me.With Great Sacrifice Comes Great Reward!

I could have been the only one there....cause God sure has some stuff for me to take from that. It was an answer to a prayer that I have been praying deep down for a long time. Not the easiest answer either. For how many out there are welcoming to the idea of giving up something that you really love with the promise of something better. There needs to be a real bond of trust. Letting go of the safety of the rope swing just over the water and trusting that the water is still there. I know that this is one of the hardest things for me to give up.But I put my trust in God that He has something amazing to replace it. It makes giving up the cherished easier and the reward greater.

Spanglish

2007-06-06T23:50:00.000-06:00

I was doing the "It is summer which means there's nothing good on," channel surfing. When I came upon Spanglish a movie that I love. The reason that this is a much loved movie is because it has a great quote that Adam Sandler's character says to Paz Vega who plays his maid. It is a the perfect quote. Not only because it is the most wonderful thing that any man could say to a woman. But that he also fumbles it a bit. That it isn't written in that perfect way. It has the element of life to it.

John Clasky: They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn't do it. Staring is the only way that makes any sense. And trying not to blink, so you don't miss anything. And all of that, and you're YOU.
[nervous laugh]
John Clasky: I mean...
[looks down]
John Clasky: Look, forgive me. It's just you are DROP DEAD, CRAZY GORGEOUS! So much so that I'm actually considering looking at you again before we finish up here.

Maybe it's my crazy love for quotes....I have a huge yet growing collection...It is just the most beautiful thing!

Hairy situations!

2007-05-17T23:58:00.000-06:00

So, I was lying in bed last night thinking that I forgot to write one of the best stories of the year down.

Like most kindergarten aged children. There has lately been a fascination with scissors. Not only with scissors but of course with hair. By now you might have already started down the path of what happens when children get these two fascinations together. But let me help you out anyways.

This story involves a girl, some scissors and a very busy classroom. We have had an artist in residence at our school doing projects with each classroom. (by the way a dream job of mine to do.) Anyways, the project that we were doing was one that completely took all four adults in the rooms attention to specific students with problems. I am sitting in the middle of the classroom helping some students. The teacher I work with is also sitting in the middle of the room helping students. She looks up from what she is doing to catch the girl with scissors in her hand and hair in the other hand. The teacher asks "Have you been cutting your hair?" The girl says "No." At this point she looks up and there is a very noticeable gap in here bangs in the front, that all of us know wasn't there earlier in the day. At this point I have burst into laughter that I have to contain.

If I start with that one...it leads way to the next. We have a boy in our classroom with long hair for his age. Long as in, you could pull it back into a pony tail with no problem. To add to the long hair. There is the issue that he has very fine features and long eyelashes. In other words he looks like a girl. There are many, many times where he has been mistaken for a girl. Times where he has to bluntly tell someone that he is a boy. It has come to our attention recently that he too has become a hair cutter. This is less noticeable but we keep finding his hair in the class room. You think he is trying to give his parents a message?

Life in Kindergarten!

2007-05-16T19:10:00.000-06:00

As some might know I am working in an elementary school right now. Not only am I working in an elementary school but in the Kindergarten class room. This of course leads to the many interesting things and ideas that the children say which make very amusing stories. There is one student that in particular tends to know what to say to make you kill yourself laughing whether he wants to or not. Though being an immigrant from Romania he is not very funny at all in Romanian. I just guess that the humor is completely different then here. I just thought that I would share some of these wonderful stories with you.

Last week, a male student was walking around rubbing his head. I then being a concerned person asked what was wrong. Being in Kindergarten there is always some sort of goings on involving injury. So, I thought that this was the same case. The response was "my head looks funny". Not feels funny, looks funny. What an odd thing to say I know. The student then proceeds to say "It hurts and it makes me scream like a girl boy." To this I say the non understanding "what?" Just to make sure that I didn't miss understand what he was saying. He then repeats "My head looks funny and it hurts and makes me scream like a girl boy. You need to feel it." You of course being me. So, I proceed to touch his head and feeling nothing wrong I say "feels fine to me." He then proceeds to just walk away.

This of course the same boy that has the most famous of lines. The teacher asked where his shoes where because they were not on his feet. His reply is "I think they are paying hide and go seek on me...AND there winning." And his other famous story ever so randomly walked up and said "I'm not lily livered." Then walked away. Lily livered as I later found out is an old English saying for not being a coward. We all still wonder to this day where he picked up the saying. (I have recently though heard it in a commercial and are proud I know what it means.)

Another boy at one of the most random of times. Which is usually when he is suppose to be doing something says to me completely out of the blue. "Did you know that Jesus is God's son." And then walks away. This boy is one of the last that you would think would know anything about God. But just one of those God surprises I guess!

These are just a few and I know that there are more to come....stay tuned!

Passing on your fate....

2007-05-01T19:31:00.000-06:00

With or Without you

Sleight of hand and twist of fate
On a bed of nails (you) she makes me wait
And I wait without you

With or without you
With or without you

-U2

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certin of what we do not see."
- Hebrews 11:1

As I sit down to write this wonderful post...I use the word fate in very very loss terms. I do almost hate fate. But some how no other word fits. Future just doesn't fit because it's not just the future that is effected it is the here and now. Destiny just seems way to much of a romanticized feel good term. Doom just feels bad. So, I am stuck with fate.

Fate...the universal principle or ultimate agency by which the order of things is presumably prescribed; the decreed cause of events; time:

I am feeling like I can't give up my fate. I am feeling lost in the idea that my own fate has been placed in someone else's hands and I have no control over it.It is not like I am giving it to God. It is the hands of actual people. In some way I am handing it to God in directly. It's HUMANS though and we all know that humans make mistakes. It is a scary even terrifying thought that what others do effect the outcome of your own life. This is the way that I am feeling. That important people around me are right now making life choices that in the end will effect the way that life will end up for me.

"If the Lord delights in a man's way he makes his steps firm;
though he stumbles, he will nit fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand."
- Psalm 37:23-24

I am not saying in anyway that I believe that God has no part in this. It is just right now the security of what I think God wants from me may not be what God wants for someone else. If that at all makes sense. It is the uncertainty of God's will in my life and how that correlates to that of other people. It is there for like I am putting my trust in God's plan and there in turn trusting that He is working in the lives of other so that the plan can be completely realized.

"For the Lord loves the just and will not forsake his faithful ones."
- Psalm 37:28a

I have huge problems with leaving my fate up to others. I have become a go getter in the sense that if I want something I should do whatever is needed to get it. I have not always been like this. It is the understanding of my own goals that has lead me to be this type of person. So, when it comes for me to return to the passive type it is a hard thing to transition to. This is very true when it effects my life goals as well. I become anxious and not settled.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways.
when they carry out their wicked schemes."
- Psalms 37:7

I guess that in some way it is God stretching me to be better. I should rise to the unknown in my life. I should stretch who I am.

an add on to other posts

2007-04-25T20:58:00.000-06:00

Just to add on to my previous post.... a list from a group I found on facebook.....

There are some things that guys should do for girls period.

The following is not a list of rules. They're suggestions to encourage guys to be gentlemen. Take 'em or leave 'em.

0. There are always exceptions to this list. The foundational exception is when you actually talk to the her and she says something different than what is included within this list. These suggestions don't provide you with the holy grail of dating or offer you the Ten Commandments for the Ladies Man, they're simply a push in the right direction for being a gentleman.

1. Open doors when possible - whether it be to a building or the passenger car door. the classic example that's stood the test of time.

2. When in a place of worship (or other places that have aisles and pews), if a man is at the end of the pew, when exiting he should stand in the aisle and let all the females go before him. (This seems odd to some people, yet normal for others. If you don't get it, don't worry about it, okay?)

3. A man should tolerate the occasional chick flick, musical, opera, or ballet - whatever her preference is - *without* complaining about it! (Because the guy may just like it.)

4. Play one of the songs that would make any woman weep like the little girl she once was (but in a good way). A brief list includes, but certainly isn't limited, to:
"You & Me" by Lifehouse
Anything by Frank Sinatra
Any rendition of "Everything I Do, I Do it for You"
"Collide" by Howie Day
"Out Of My League" by Steven Speaks
And MOST IMPORTANTLY "Question" by the Old 97's (if you propose to a girl with this song, she is putty in your hands).
("Putty in your hands" is not meant to promote "using women" in any way. This group does not encourage guys to be polite in order to get her into bed.)

5. Talk! The strong & silent bit goes from intriguing to boring quite fast.

6. Find out what her favorite flower is and buy them for her randomly (regardless of the situation you might be in). A simple yet profound truth: a single rose says more than dozens of anything else. (I encourage the women to not allow a guy to "prove himself worthy" through gifts and flowers and such. Trust is a precious thing and it should take a good chunk of time before he gains it back in your heart.)

7. If you miss her, or love her, TELL HER! Even your friends like to hear it every now & again.

8. Re-enact Zales commercials (the ice is nice but certainly not mandatory).

9. Remember: the best gifts you can give are usually free of cost.

10. Leave a note (or send a message) just to say "hi".

11. Ask her questions about herself.

12. Dress nice every once & a while. Any girl likes to see her brother/friend/boyfriend/e

tc. in a well-ironed button-up with some nice slacks.

13. PRIDE & PREJUDICE ...that's all I have to say about that (I mean, that should speak for itself). (It's even more impressive if he has read the book.)

14. Tolerate small children as best you can. Meaning, put up with the things that can get annoying. They're children, after all. Show them love and care, teach them how to become a better man than you. (You were once extremely irritating. Get over the obnoxious kids and enjoy getting down to their level - not "for her", but for the good of yourself and others.)

15. Learn to dance! There is nothing sexier than a man who can dance really well. If God did not bless you with the grace of Fred Astaire, at least put forth the effort, it will be greatly appreciated. Always slow dance (even if it's just like you danced in middle school). Also, men, sing to a lady. Even if you're terrible, suck it up! They love to listen to it and will not care what you sound like. It's the thought that counts on this one. Unless you're just downright terrible, nothing sexy about that. Haha, thanks, Jade!

16. Kiss her on the forehead.

17. When she's sick, stay up with her. If you can cook (which is *always* a plus), make her some soup. If you can't cook, there's Campbell's soup at hand for you.

18. Pretend to throw her in the pool (or fountain/pond). If you really do throw her in, you'd better jump in yourself. **NOTE** There are some women who just hate this apparently, so you had better do two things: 1) Never allow your buddies be a part of it if you're unsure of how she feels about getting thrown in and 2) You had better know how she feels about it!

19. Hold her hand while you talk, drive, or just for the heck of it (it's the small things that win you big points).

20. LOOK IN HER EYES, NOT AT HER CHEST!!!!!

21. Stupid jokes = awkwardly adorable moments.

22. Tickle her, tease her, let her tease you back without getting all bent out of shape about it.

23. Don't call her hot, or pretty, or cute; call her beautiful, because that's what she is. (I don't think cute is that bad, but definitely stay away from "hot" [it's so overused and superficial] and step "pretty" up to beautiful or gorgeous or stunning or captivating or...)

24. Offer her your jacket/sweatshirt. (Note: you may not see that particular item of clothing for a while, if ever again).

25. Don't be too proud to apologize.

26. It's not stalking to watch her sleep if you fall asleep watching a movie. It is stalking to watch her sleep if you're standing outside her window with night vision goggles.

27. When she feels at her worst, tell her she looks her best.

28. If you're trying to get more than friendship out of the relationship, take it slow and never rush her.

29. Just because you're a guy doesn't mean you are completely incapable of calling when you say you will, it just means you are highly incapable of it. There are few acceptable answers to, "Why didn't you call?", & being male is not one of them.

30. Don't check out other girls in front of your female friends/sisters/mother, unless you are sincere when you later ask them if you think she could introduce the two of you for more reasons than you "want to get some". Pull this in front of your girlfriend/fiancee/wife, she has every right to clock you in the jaw.

31. Guys - always offer to pay for the date. No matter how expensive it gets, especially if YOU asked HER on the date. [if she is willing to pay now and again, don't let your "man pride" get in the way of her wanting to give back to you. she should understand money can be tight - especially when you're always buying]

32. Always do everything in your power to keep her as happy as you can. And cheer her up in any way possible. [if she isn't always happy - and i've never met a girl who is - don't be afraid of her and don't be stupid and always, unquestioningly, blame it on PMS. be there WITH her when times are tough and she wants you there.]

33. When walking on the sidewalk, always walk on the outside near traffic. (So everyone has a different opinion for how this started. For some, it's because of the human waste that was getting thrown out the windows when this was happening a century ago. The woman walked under the overhangings extending from the buildings with the guy in the open to take the mess if need be. Others say it's from the guy's scabbard/sword being on his left with the woman walking on the right. As for today, it's the traffic and puddles and what-not. Whatever it is. It's just a courtesy thing, if it seems necessary.)

34. At least do everything in your power to keep cursing to a minimum while around her. If you can, cut it out period while around her, or cut it out of your vocabulary. Women don't want to hear it, guys don't care about it, adults don't want to hear it, it doesn't impress employers, and you sure won't want your children or someone else's to hear it!

35. Sometimes you have to take the initiative. Don't always wait for her to come to you, because if that's how it always is, you're going to lose her.

36. If any lady is walking alone to her car in a dark parking lot/garage, or is carrying a heavy load, always offer to help walk her to her destination and carry things, if not the entire load. **This may work a lot better and come off non-stalkerish if you at least know the girl you're trying to help. Haha thanks to a LOT of people on this revision.**

37. If a woman says no, let that be her final answer with maybe one question of confirmation after her first answer. Do not pressure or force her in any way after that. Don't make her give in to something she doesn't want to do.

38. Always be honest with her. No woman wants or likes a dishonest man. If you can't be honest with her, she can't trust you, and shows you don't trust her enough to be honest. Trust, honesty and integrity are just as an integral part of a relationship and just as important as love.

39. A man should always genuinely listen to women; no matter how bored or busy the man is. Actively listening to the woman will keep him from pain (and bring the man and woman closer together). This works best, of course, when both the man and the woman actively and equally engage in conversation (this includes listening). For the ladies reading this, please talk - always talk - especially if you are having problems with the relationship and to also avoid making bigger problems.

Oh love again....

2007-04-24T23:20:00.000-06:00

Tonight when I was hanging out with some friends. One being one of my best friends who recently started dating someone. This someone also being a friend. I thought that it was going to be completely weird. But it wasn't as bas as I had thought it would be. In some ways I now think that I always thought of them together. Though it does concern me how fast the feelings are going at least from one of the sides of the party. Which of course got me thinking while sitting in the middle of all these couples tonight.

What am I looking for?

At this point yes I am happy with me and I really am not actively looking. That being said if someone came along I would not be against it. I just am not looking actively. I now know what I want more then I did a year ago and even more then I did 4 months ago.

I want someone that loves God. Not just someone that has faith and believes. But actively loves God. In the idea that what they do is to explore God and know him better.

I want someone that has strong value of family. That their family is very important to them. This also means not dysfunctional.

I want someone that goes the extra mile. I love flowers. Only ONCE has anyone ever brought me flowers and that was when I turned 6. Presents no matter how big...are a wonderful thing. I am special and worth it!

I want a gentlemen. I like having the door opened for me. I like being treated special cause I am!

I want someone else to do the work. I have never dated someone that I haven't made the first move with. It is time to find someone that will instead.

I have no question that this person is out there and sometimes I think closer then I think. When the time is right then I know that God will place this person in the right place at the right time. It's the whole patients thing! As a woman like most we hate waiting for things.

Are you one of these people?

2007-04-15T18:51:00.000-06:00

I was lying in bed last night and had the perfect idea for my next blog post. It was so perfect that I completely forgot what it was that I felt so compelled to write about. Maybe it was the utter exhaustion that I felt or maybe it was the time in the early morning that I thought of such a thing no matter what it was it really left no impression on me what so ever. So instead of the most perfect of topics that may some day return to me, I would rather dive deep into the world of the interweb and talk about the ettiquet or lack there of in the world of Messanging.

http://www.practicaletiquette.com/messenger-etiquette.html

But in my own words I thought that I would share my pet peeves of the wonderful world of MSN. This is the list of the people that we all find in the world of intsant messanging.

1.) The at home and away person....Away is a way for short periods of time. Not for extented periods like the whole day or even hours at a time. If you are gone for that long just sign out!

2.) The always talking but have nothing important to say person...If I am online and you too are online then it is alright give me a hello but if you are just there shooting the breeze and have huge gaps in the conversation then just don't start.

3.) The online but increadably busy person...The person that is always way too busy for any type of conversation yet they are status is online. IF you are busy then either change your status to busy or just sign out.

4.) The always busy person... No one really can be that busy all the time. IF your that busy just sign out!

5.) The random conversation person... feel always like starting a conversation in the middle of it. feel that the conversation makes no real sense. IF the english languge was good enough for Jesus and Shakspear it is good enough for the rest of us.

6.) The always online person...No one can ever be online that much. IF you are then there is somthing called a life away from the computer. There is a place called outside, I'm sure you might like it.

7.) The never start a converstion person...They always seem to talk when you start the conversation but are never willing to start the conversation first. IF you are online then be willing to start a conversation!

8.) The phantom person...You know the one...or do you really? the never seem to be online or they always just sign out when you come online. They are just to fast for you to ever chat with them. If you want to be a friend then be one.

9.) The offline online person...IF you are having computer problems that sign you out then you have to sign back in 20 times within a 5 minute period. Just don't bother unless it is so extremely important that you will just die if you don't tell that one person, then that is alright. But if you need to that bad then Graham Bell did invent a somewhat older yet more reliable device called the telephone.

10.) The one person you don't know...There is always one...for me it is someone with the sceen name CJ. I have no idea who they are. They never talk to me and I never talk to them. What makes this worse though if you have that one typ of these who really do seem to know you and you have no idea who they are.

These are just a few...the top ten if I could say. There are many, many more like the acrynomes person or the we were friends 6 years ago and I still have you on my list. If you fall into these such types of people then I am sorry. I know that I fall into some of them myself. It is almost like no one knows what is proper and respectful in the world of the internet. Not like many people know what proper manners and etiquette are these days there seems to be a lack in some generations about the truely traditional manners that past generations have followed.

Can there ever be a return to proper manners?

A Big Blessing!

2007-04-12T13:40:00.000-06:00

My beautiful new niece Emma Alexandra!

check out more of my passion for black and whites again....

Black and Whites

Me...a cool person I am hanging out with lately!

2007-03-27T23:55:00.000-06:00

So, I have been asked by a good friend to help out with one of her final papers by being the victim of her psychoanalyzing my past life experiences. Which is not a bad thing. I do have a past that would make many in Christian circles question my now devotion to God. Which brings me back to thinking about myself. Reminds me about the last person that truly challenged me. The one that made me think about my past as something that I now need to make up for. That my past can some how be erased by what I do now. This seems to be some sort of penance that one would do to make their life seem better. This to me is one of the most ridiculous thoughts that anyone could have. My past being what it was and how eventful it might have been or might not have been has if nothing else made me who I am and where I am. Everything that I have done whether it was a wrong or right thing to do has lead me here. This is something that I am proud of being. Here, in this moment in time. I am still clearing up some of those mistakes. Solving some of those problems.

I realized talking to and preparing to talk to this friend. That I am alright with me. I am at that age where yes I am very comfortable in my own skin. I like who I am. That I am who I am because of life and that is nothing to snicker at. Finding out who you are is a tough thing to do. This now puts a prospective on those who I look at in a romantic way. I want to have to marry and have a family. Soon rather then later but that is all up to God, I know. I am looking for someone that has the same confidence in who they are. This relates to my MSN name right now that says "I love cars, video games and sports...I am a typical girl!" Those are just some of the things that I love. I know what I like and what I don't. I know where I want my life to end up someday. I know what I truly value in life. I know what I believe and why I believe it. These are things that I am willing to put up a fight for. I am who I am and I ain't gonna let anyone change that. Well, maybe I am into experiencing new things and I am sure at some point in time I will change things. But, on major issues...people just have to get use to who I am!

So, what I am saying is that I am me. I have a past that has made me this way. I know and understand my beliefs and values. I therefor I am looking in life for a man that has the same understanding of themselves.

things that make you go hmmmm...

2007-03-05T00:23:00.000-07:00

I've been visiting memory lane recently. How you might ask? By watching one of my favorite shows of all time, Dawson's Creek. Yes, I am one of those people that at 7pm on Tuesday nights were glued to there T.V. to see if Dawson and Joey or Pacey and Joey were going to make it. I was one of those girls. I had to see each week how these teenagers were going to survive whatever crisis, however small. Would they make the right decision? Would it in the end turn out alright? Is the ultimate love really all that they dreamed it would be?

Well, now that I have free time on my hands, I have been visiting those characters that grew up the same time I grew up. Kinda like visiting with old friends.The episodes bring me back to that time in my life. Back to all those things that I felt were extremely complicated and difficult issues, that now some how seem ever so trivial and minute. The time when life 's little bumps where just bumps and not giant sink holes. But They say that life is all about this bumps and sink holes.

One of the episodes that I am drawn back too is one with Joey and Dawson. Best friends yet, life gets in the way to complicate it. In this episode one of the lines that stuck out to me this time is Joey asking Dawson, "Do you think every Joey has a Dawson and ever Dawson has a Joey?" Dawson then replies with "I sure hope so." This is the way I feel about a best friend of my own. I hope that every Jen has a Luke and every Luke has a Jen. He gives me the straight side of things that no one else can. Trust me I need it especially lately. He points out the truth and says it and listens when I need to be heard. He is my movie buddy. I just can't seem to go to any movie without him. He's Luke and his my best friend. I'm just lucky enough to have him in my life.

Call me cynical in my old age if you want but I think that good friends and best friends is all we can ever hope for. I find this picturesque view on love over rated and highly derived from Hollywood and children's fairy tales. I feel as though in a society that covets the idea of sex more then the idea of Love one that is highly self motivated and maybe even a little to real for the world its self. I find that the whole wondrous romanticism of love is lost in this society. I think that society and culture in it's self holds out for the ideal love. Though being in it's self not able to attain it reaches for the next best thing which is sex. I believe that in this loveless broken world that it is merely impossible to find this love that we are taught to believe in as a child. Therefore ruining the picture perfect marriage and family in which we are taught to strive for. So, in light of that I reach to my friends. For I know that the ideal great love is one that is a myth to me.

understanding love

2007-02-11T14:11:00.000-07:00

So, as the relationship of me and my boyfriend came to an end the other day. I am not sad. I am not in the least bit sad. I feel more freed. It was a very sudden relationship that I know that both of us were not ready for and in the end we just rushed in to something. We both acted the way that we thought that we should. I'm not sorry that we did what we did. I know that it is better to end it.

I though this week again realized that I am not getting any younger and I felt the ticking of the proverbial clock. I know that more then anything that I want a family of my own. I have a great desire for it. I know that God knows this. I keep praying so that God will show me when I am ready for that special person that will be in my life forever.

This leads me to the discussion and the trying to understand Love. What it is really going to be like to have the one that I LOVE. God keeps leading me back to of course the typical set of verses in Corinthians. The over used wedding reading. The Love is...verses.

1 Corinthians 13:3-7

4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant,

5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,

6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;

7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I have become attached to this version of the text all because of the of verse 5. "does not act unbecomingly;" I have learned with this most recent relationship what this means. The word unbecomingly is one that I remember of my childhood. I remember being told not to look in the mirror so much it is unbecoming. It easier for me to relate to then the "It is not rude," found in other translations.

I feel God almost is leading me through the verses and the situations that match with the verses. The hardest seems for me to understand is "Love is patient." I am trying to understand and live this way in all ways in my life. I am trying to live a Godly loving life with my friends, family and everyone that I met. I have a deep passion for Outreach and Welcoming ministries. It is my dream to finish my book and someday lead churches in a direction of growth in which they reach out and welcome others from there communities. Then someday opening an outreach art center. I feel as though God has placed this on my heart.

I feel the understanding of love is a huge part of welcoming in any church and for any Christian. If you don't understand the greatest gift in which God gave us. Then as Christians how do we expect others to relate to what they see in us. God is love. But what is love. I feel as though it is my calling right now to understand love.

Sad....

2007-02-07T13:17:00.000-07:00

Sad

That is the feeling I am having today. Just feeling like everyone around me is going super fast in so many different directions and I am standing still. Like I'm in the middle and no one has time to slow down and see what is wrong. I'm feeling like spending time with me is something no one has time for lately. Time for everyone else but me maybe it is because everyone else is easier to hang out with or maybe because I am alone most of the time. I work my few hours a day and I come home. I do a whole lot of nothing then go to bed and do it all over again the next day. I feel as though the social aspect of my life is missing. It's not like I don't try and change it either. I think of things to do then invite people. Then they always have so much going on...that they just can't do it. They are too busy for me! So, I am feeling sad! That is the feeling of the day...and a little bit like a hermit.

When blogging gets to be too much...

2007-01-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

So, life with me is really really good right now. Who would complain? I have a part time job in a kindergarten class and a soon to be job working in after school care for the YMCA. Really, I will just get paid to play! I am in a relationship where I am truly happy and everyone can tell. Yes, we have our ups and downs. Nothing can always be perfect. But we do have our moments. All in all I can not have any complaints about my life right now. God is Good.
Though there is something that God is doing in my life that I know is only between me, God and one other person. Though deep down I have this need almost that I should write some blog about. I'm not sure if it is some ridiculous addiction to blogging or it really is something that God wants me to share. I think that it is more the first then the last. I feel as though I need to blog about it...Like some how this will make me a better person if I put it out there for the world to see...that some how I will get some affirmation from someone out there. That I need this outside affirmation to make what is going on real.
God is God and he should give me the affirmation that I need. I shouldn't look for it somewhere else. He is good enough for me. I guess I just need to believe that this is true!

Educations system and telus...what do they have in common?

2007-01-18T23:29:00.000-07:00

So, now that I have decided to take a semester off. So that someday I can afford to go back and finish my education. I have now have the need to find employment. This is not that hard of a task one would think in the job market in which we are living in right now.
**Warning to all those who might work for Telus**

So far, I would not say that it has been hard finding work. Well, I have a job. It is waiting for me. The position has been empty since it was created in November. I pretty much have an in. It is at the elementary school that my mom works at. The principle told me to apply for this job. It is in a kindergarten class. I also know the teacher of the class and she asked me today when I get to start working. That is the question. I applied for this job before Christmas through the wonderful world of Telus. Cause Telus knows so much about hiring people to work with children. Yeah for the school board contracting out staffing. So, about a month ago I applied for this position. I sent my resume off to the person that the principle said that she was in contact with. A week ago I get a message from another woman wanting to do a phone interview. So, I call her back. First of all she can't find my resume. That is aways a good sign. Then there were some lovely interview questions that were unrelated to working with children and ones more relating to an office setting. Me being me I just kinda wanted to get it over with and done. So, I answered the best I could and told her I would email her my resume and references. This I did and then the next thing I hear is that she found my resume but hadn't received my references. So I again send her my references. So, today I find out that I am dealing with one lady and the principle of the school another. The principle is really trying to speed up the process as much as possible. Cause it has only been a month since a applied and 2 months since she started the process of hiring anyone for this position. So, someone anyone tell me why the school board would make such a crappy decision to give over the hiring to Telus. It is not like they are doing a wonderful job at it.

Blessed!

2007-01-11T00:50:00.000-07:00

Hallelujah
by Teddy Geiger

You're the girl in the back of the room
My wallflower that's in bloom
You're so oblivious to this
I could fall into those eyes
Pretty circles that I try to escape into, yeah
Well hallelujah when you look at me
And hallelujah you're the halo over me
And you're all that I need

Chorus
With you, every day is Saturday
With you, Every word you say is like a song
With you well, everything is obvious
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Well I found you, I found you
I found you, Hallelujah

I never thought I'd take that jump
A nervous laugh around someone
I'm sleeping in the palm of your hand
The way you whisper on the phone
I hear your voice when I'm alone
Cause you always understand just who I am

And hallelujah your love is free
And hallelujah you're the halo over me
And you're all that I need

Chorus

The best things are unexpected just like this
Like a billboard in the sky you just can't miss
And I'm never letting this love go
Hallelujah, hallelujah

Chorus

One of my favorite songs...from one of those teeny bopper popular music guys...I just love it. It fits me feelings lately so well. I am blessed beyond measure. Only God has this much love for me to give me such a wonderful person to get to know so well. With everything I learn about him the closer the bond grows between us. Every moment I spend with him I thank God that he has blessed us with this time together. As we strive to keep God at the center of our relationship. God, is the most important thing to us and what ever we do has to be for His good. There are reasons that are yet to be seen that we are together at this time. I know that God has a greater plan then we can see. So, I ask for prayer for us. Just keep us in your minds.

Over is just not so over yet....

2006-12-26T12:47:00.000-07:00

So, I was reminded the other day to not count the year over or at least post a blog commenting on the events of the year till it is truly over. I guess since I was finishing up exams and there for finishing up school for the year. Since I am not going back to school in January but instead taking a needed break to make money so that I can finish my education. So, to me at the time made me think that the year was ending. This though was not the case!

Some of those great God surprises just don't end. Some how I think it was even God's way of saying don't count your chickens before they hatch or so the saying goes. For me it was more don't count that all the events of the year are over. God's next surprise was just around the corner.

So, for all those who don't know I have a great group of school friends and the large majority of them right now are guys. I have always been one to have more friends that are guys then girls. They just are easier to hang around sometimes then girls. Well, two days before Christmas I started to date one of these guys. It just happened. Not like it was planed or everyone figured it was going to happen. Cause it was a surprise to everyone. Not only the two of us. He treats me like a princess. Which all girls should be treated like that on a regular basis. With each new day of this budding relationship, I find out new surprises. New things are learned and new experiences are had.

What I have learned is that sometimes God leaves the best surprises for the very end! :D

So when you are waiting for that clock to strike midnight don't rush it you never know what will happen in the seconds even milliseconds leading up to the end of the year. Just let time and God do there thing!

End of the Year Thoughts

2006-12-14T23:49:00.000-07:00

wow 2006 eh?
Looking over this past year I realize that God had a whole lot of surprises that I did not expect. I did a heck of a lot.

- Lived in a tent for 10 days in Ont

- Visited Winnipeg (only the territories and NFLD left!)

- Almost got left behind in Moosejaw

- Had a great summer romance and was in love

- Saw 2 wonderful friends start a new journey

- Found out that I am going to be an aunt again!

- Saw Phantom of the Opera

- Met some great new people

- Got to know some friends way better

- Watched my first movie in a park

- Worked at the Airport

- Met Kipper (yes the goalie)

- Realized how great my friends really are

- Got a new bestfriend...and it's a boy.

- Learned more about myself

- Made some hard decisions

That's only a few things that come to mind. I know that there are tons more cause it has been a full year. If anyone asked me what 2006 had instore for me. I would have never thought that half of the stuff would have. I have to again say that I have some amazing friends that have gotten me through a lot this past year and I know that you still are. Cause my life is anyting but easy right now. But in the new year new things right!

All I can say is that if this is what 2007 is going to be like sign me up! I am excited for the new chapter. I feel like it is going to be a growing one again with lots of those God Surprises.

The Snow is Falling!

2006-12-04T21:31:00.000-07:00

My favorite holiday website! Now it is doing good! Take a break make a snowflake!

http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/

(I love receiving them aswell as sending them. vietnamron@hotmail.com) If you send me one I will send you one in return!

Advent waiting

2006-11-27T23:42:00.000-07:00

As the season of Advent swiftly approaches. God has brought me back to the idea and thought of patients. To think of what Mary and Joseph had to do to wait for the birth of Jesus. Not only them but the whole world. The promise that was made so long ago is full filled so much later. To think that I can't even wait for a day sometimes. Waiting years would be hard let alone hundreds of years.

So, as the waiting gets started and the hustle and bustle of the season is on it's way. I am reminded about the patience that is needed. I have been decorating my house for Christmas with my family. I am getting taught a lot of patientces. For those of you who don't know. I am living in a 4 bedroom half duplex with my parents, myself, my older sister (who is expecting again in Feb.) and her husband and the apple of my eye my 2 and a half year old nephew. Well, when you are use to just 3 of us in the house it is a bit more crowded. I feel selfish sometimes cause I am use to things before and I have given up the most for my family. But I just do it with out much complaining. Anyways, so decorating our house this year is interesting. First of all my mom and I do most of the decorating. We both have the things that we are good at. Our own little jobs. Well, I am some what of an interior design perfectionist. I like things the way I like um. When I say we decorate our house for Christmas. I mean this is a multi box affair with days and days of unpacking and repacking. Putting out snowman after snowman and putting away anything non Christmas like.

Well, putting up a Christmas tree with a two and a half year old taught me about patients. Putting up Christmas decorations with my sister taught me about patients. I am also learning a lot about conceding to the fact that it doesn't have to be perfect. Yes. the beads on the tree all switch levels in the front and it does not make it look perfect cause they really should be hidden at the back. And yes the rest of the tree looks outstanding. but that is the only thing that I notice when I look at the tree. Or that the lights coming up the stairs were wrong and I had to fix them.

I am though learning about patients. When I was putting up the Christmas tree with my nephew who said "this is a great party." I am reminded about the excitement and the anticipation of Christmas. That all this waiting is leading up to something great. I am learning a lot about patiences and waiting cause I know that there is a lot to wait for. In the end it is always worth the wait. Look what God made us wait for! God has great plans for us we just need to have the patiences for the waiting for the plans to work themselves out.

A Painting in Progress

2006-11-22T22:06:00.000-07:00

So, I was talking to a friend tonight. (huh a friend...my ex really) He was telling me about his plans for the next year. I mentioned about that everyone has a journey that they are on. A road that they take. An untrodden desert. A painting in progress. No matter what it isn't anything with out God!
So what do you call it....

The moment

2006-11-19T01:12:00.000-07:00

Ever have one of those moments when you stop and realize that there is no where in the world you would rather be then right there at that single moment.

I had one of those the other night. It was amazing! The only problem was that I know that the person I was with was wishing that they were somewhere else. That stinks!

One day they will realize what I have realized. One day...

DISTRACTED

2006-11-16T13:55:00.000-07:00

So, I have had some pretty big things on my mind lately. Of course as a student this is not the best thing in the world at all. So, in order to make this thinking of distracting things I did the girl thing and talked to a friend. She is one of my closest friends and one that I know that I can trust with anything. So, I divulged my soul to her and instead of this making it easier not to think about it. It totally has done the complete opposite. I now am 3 times as distracted and now can't think about anything else and I have midterms and papers to do... AHHHHHHH!

I know what God's opinion is! Cause really that is what started this thinking in the first place. But now there is nothing I can do but think about it. But of course my last conversation with God told me that it should be the last thing that I should be thinking about! AHHHHHHH!

So, to summerize...I am thinking bout things that God told me but he told me not to worry or think about them. This inturn has lead to extreme distraction with no hope of actual work involved either writting a paper or studying for a midterm! AHHHHHHH!

Ed

2006-11-12T00:48:00.000-07:00

Yes, it is overly thinking analyzing Jen for a moment....just enjoy and read/listen cause then I will know that someone cares.

So, I was watching Ed tonight. One of my all time favorite shows. The hopeless romantic that I am. It was the episode where Carol is going to marry Denise. Well, there is a line where Carol is sitting in the church debating in her head about getting married and her best friend, Molly come in. Carol asks her if she thought that she was making a mistake marring Denise. Molly replies "I can't answer you that cause no matter what the answer is you are going to look and think of the answer." Which in it's self gives away what her answer to the question is.

So, why these such ramblings. I feel the same way as Molly. I know that no matter the answer I give. It will be remembered and brought back up again. I just don't know what to say to some people that want the honest answer from you. So, my yearish long mantra has been "Happy and Supportive." I have been this way for all my friends no matter what there problem or decision is. I feel that it is not my place to give an answer that might be remembered down the road. I know that too some it might seem the easy ways. But it's the safe way!

I know that this makes little sense to all those who read my meanderings. But thanks for reading/listening!

Conversations with God

2006-11-04T01:19:00.000-07:00

So, recently I spent some time on a pray retreat for a school field trip. Yup, a university field trip! Nothing can bring you back to the days of your childhood then a school field trip. I must say that this was one of the most remarkable times that I have ever spent with God. I heard God as clear as my own voice. I heard some things that I needed answers to. I heard somethings that I was not at all expecting! It's crazy how God is.

There are some things that he said that I feel as though I should share. The most intimate conversation that I have had with God in many months. It was amazing! Charles my prof. (really my favorite professor in the world!) used Lectio method with us in prayer. He spoke pharses out of Hebrews 11.

1. faith is the assurence of things hoped for

This was one of the most powerful times of prayer I have ever had. I have been praying about something for quite a long time. Something that I hoped for. Well, like an arrow speeding straight for my forhead. God gave me the answer. Then It felt like falling. The relief of no longer hoping just knowing that it will come true. That because I have faith it is answered!

2.By faith our ancestors received approval

This gave me the thought of my grandmother. My Granny! She has such a strong faith. She past away about 5 years ago. The thought came to mind that she would be so proud of what I am doing with my life.

3.Without faith it is impossible to please God

This one was a loud and very clear... I have had problems with a decision that I have to make about school. There is no way that I can afford school right now. I have had some issues with excepting this. I have a fear that I will never finish if I take a semester off. That I will never go back. In response as clear as day God said "Do as I say, and you will have great rewards." Well there really is no way to ignore that. It was like the Father talking to me as a child that just isn't fully understanding the what is really going on. That I am just looking at the present and not to the future.

4.By faith Abraham obeyed

This was more of the same as above! God though spoke these words to me. "Come my child, let me hold you in my arms.” This is the most relaxing thing that I had heard in a while. That no matter what I do God will hold me in his arms and protect me. This is one of those amazing things that I forget about. That no matter what my life turns out to be. I am a child of God and that I can rest in that.

5.Abraham set not knowing where he was going

God, told me that not know what is coming is something that I should worry about. For God is the one that knows and if I trust in him I will never loose my way. So, if I do never go back to school. I can trust in him that the faith that I have will continue on the journey that he has created for me. That in the end I don’t need to know where I am going for God knows and that I should not be afraid of the unknown future.

A new friend has this as there favorite bible verse and it just fits so well with me. It's like God is still talking to me now.

"Friend, you have no idea how good your love makes me feel, doubly so when I see your hospitality to fellow believers." - Philimon 1:7 (The Message)

God is great! And speaks wonderful things to those who listen!

Good

2006-10-30T00:33:00.000-07:00

My Favorite picture that I have taken in the last little while. I am finding a new love for digital photography that I never thought that I would get. I was a tangleable film to the end of time person... Guess for me it is the ability to switch from color to Black and White I love so much. How I do love Black and White photos!

Growing Pains

2006-10-14T01:01:00.000-06:00

I think it's time for what I have learned in the past little while. I have completely learned and are learning so many things about myself. I guess it's just a time of re-evaluating my life. The time when one chapter closes and you are starting a new one.

I have learned that I suck at intimacy. I only want to let some people close enough to really know me and I keep all others at a safe distance. It is my fear of getting hurt that I draw this from. I continue to work on this everyday. Most of my friends are extremely patient with me which is great. I do have some amazing friends out there that have been so utterly supportive of me lately. It has been tough lately but you'll are always there to make sure I'm doin alright.

I have realized that I still have a heck of a lot of questions of myself and of God that I just don't have the answers too. Some of them I won't know the answers to till I'm hanging out with the Big Guy. Some of my questions are as simple as "what do I really like?" to more complicated ones like "What are my ultimate goals in life? Have they changed?"

I have realized that I had been pushing God away most of the summer. Yeah, God was always with me, but my relationship was all of a sudden more important then my relationship with God. I feel like I need to play catch up and I feel as though now that I need Him, I don't deserve Him. I need to spend more time with God. For God is the reason that I do all that I do. I say that I want to be a pastor but right now I feel further away from God then ever. I need to reclaim my relationship with Him

Been thinking of course a lot about "The One". As Christians we are always told about the one. The pressure to find that one person that God has made for you. Well, like all people I have a goal of a family someday. The desire is so great. (I guess that's why I love psalm 137 so much.)Anyways, back to the one... So, I was thinking about this on the bus today on the way to school cause I was talking to Faye yesterday about her families theory of "the one". See they're theory is that there are more then one "the one" out there. God makes a bunch of them for you to fit all the options that you have in life and no matter what path you choose you will find "the one" that fits that path. Kinda like a choose your own adventure novel but in the end you always end up with "the one". This truly gives me hope. I can make my own choices with the help of God and no matter what it is God has already figured out how many "the one"'s I need. So, as I was riding on the bus this morning. This thought occurred to me. It was my Epiphany moment... This last relationship was good, I can't imagine what it will be like to find "the one"! I thought for awhile that nothing can beat this past relationship...but the truth is God will beat it! He has someone that I am going to be complete with.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about the future. Thinking tons about what I really want to do in my life. There are certain things that I know for a fact that I want to do with my life. Things that I am not willing to give up. Some I am willing to postpone if in someway certain circumstances are set before me. Don't get me wrong things that I want to do in my life will get done no matter what. It is one of those stubborn issues. I know for a fact I want to be a pastor. I know that I want to be a wife and mother. I know that I would love to live in New York for at least a year. I know that I want to visit Italy. I know I want to study art. I know that in 2 years I am going to Israel!! Though I know that my life plan, isn't all planned out. I know that I want to do these things and I have no idea when all of this is going to happen. Though I know these are things that I want and need to do. The time frame is a bit unclear at this point. But that is the spontaneousness of me and God.

I know that these are just some growing pains...I just thought at 25 I was done growing up...never assume anything!

My Mistake!

2006-10-08T00:38:00.000-06:00

I make mistakes...and most of you know this...I have made one that has hurt someone that I care about deeply. I am truely sorry for this. I never thought of their feelings in this situation and for that I will never be able to take back the things that I said.

Reasons I made a mistake

10. He will give you the world if you ask
9. He treats anyone like he wants to be treated
8. He has undying and unyeilding faith
7. His arms is the safest place to be
6. He has a look that will make your knees weak
5. He has more to give to any girl then any man I know
4. He is one of the best thing that has happened to me
3. He could have anyone and he choose me
2. He has the touch of angels
1. He cares more then any man

Things that I got out of the relationship!

2006-10-07T18:12:00.000-06:00

So it was suggested to me that I should write another list. (thank you Misha)

Things that I got out of the relationship...

10. A spontenious trip to Canmore
9. A coin keychain from the glenbow
8. Countless photos of us togther
7. Dinners, movies, and daytrips with great company
6. An addiction to CJSW
5. A expansive appreciation for my family
4. New questions to ask those who I am dating
3. To see Phantom of the Opera
2. A greater understanding of what I need and want in a boyfriend
1.That I can love someone and they can love me back

In no way is this a complete list of everything that I got from the relationship. But it gives you an overview of it. I do not regret a single moment of my relationship.

Top 10 Reasons Why Breaking Up With Me Was His Mistake!

2006-09-30T19:16:00.000-06:00

So, after 3 days I have deciede that there is some reasons that He has made a mistake in breaking up with me. Though I am in no way inviting an request to get back together...Cause that would be pointless on his part!
So with no futher explination....Drum roll please...(Thanks Luke!)

10. No one else is going to help him quit chewing his fingernails
9. Now he has to spend way more time in the South and who really lives in the South
8. He will now resort back to living on Rice alone
7. Fashion advice...need I say more
6. Rachel is evaluating him in Womans lit.
5. Ummm...Loss of friendships
4. He has to find someone else to hurt
3. Who else is going to help figure out his family's on going drama
2. School is 4 years true love lasts a life time
1. I am the best thing that ever happened to him

I know that this might be funny and it might be alittle mean...but I never wanted it to be mean...It's just how I feel!

I have broken up with my boyfriend and yes he tore my heart out and stomped on it. Yes, as a girl I was feeling completely distrought about this for 2 days but now I am on day 3 since the break up and I don't even feel sad anymore. I am relieved in someways. I know that it was not the perfict relationship that I wanted it to be. There were times in which he made me cry for crazy reasons in which no one your really loved should have felt that way. I know that it's not the end of the world inwhich I first thought it was. That I am going to be alright. That my real prince charming is out there and I know that God has great plans for me. This relationship was placed in my life to teach me something or I was placed in his life to help him with stuff. Either way God does things for reasons we can't even understand and as time goes by I might realize what the reason for it was.

This by no means escapes the feeling and need that I have to egg his house and or car...or that some sort of physical pain might be bestowed upon him.

Family...

2006-07-23T12:36:00.000-06:00

So, as I sit here alone in my house. The thought of family has been one that is on my mind lately and now more then ever. To me Family means the world. It doesn't matter if it is actual relatives or those in your chosen family. Family is family!
But really what makes people family....

My understanding and experience of family is completely different then the next person. I have formed a community around me that makes me ever so protected or so I feel this way. Is this what family is? Is family something that you form though out you lifetime with those whom you love and cherish? And what if you have family that you can't stand to be with? Those members in your family that negatively impact you life. Are they still your family even though you have removed yourself from there presents in your life? You should still love that person with the same love as always. Family is family and love is love.

Family is family...no matter what they are family. No matter what all those out there that are in my family...you aren't getting away from me easily. Earch and everyone of you are speacial and are an important part of who I am. So, it's going to be pretty hard to get rid of me! So, I love you all!

Lucky??

2006-06-19T11:12:00.000-06:00

Luck...Something that I have been thinking alot about lately... and saying too I guess...How did I get to be so lucky? Has come out of my mouth on more then one occation. Always right now having to do with a certin boy in my life. "How did I get so lucky?" My quote of the day made me think about this in more depth.

"Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity."
-Seneca
Roman philosopher, mid-1st century AD

This is truely how I feel. I have known Matt for under a year. He has been around for 2 years. It could have happened before now. But It didn't! And that is the greatest luck of all. It didn't happen before cause I wasn't ready for it before. I was not prepared. I know that I was not ready. Now I know that I am!

And I know it has nothing to do with Luck...It is that I am Blessed! God has blessed me with this wonderful man! And all I can feel is blessed! God knew that I was ready for what I wanted. I had given my hopes and dreams over to God and He answered my prayers not when I thought He should...but when He knew I was ready. And not just for anyone but for the BEST one. Cause God only wants the Best for us!

So in my spiritual developement time...It's been a real time of praise! And in this time of Praise I have visited my favorite part of the Bible again. Psalms! Great for Praise! So, with this I just got to my favorite Psalm...Psalm 37. (Which is anacrostic poem with all the letters in the Hebrew alphabet.)

4 Delight yourself in the LORD;
And He will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

SO...I'm a girl...

2006-06-08T09:19:00.000-06:00

So...I decided that being a girl isn't all it cracked up to be. I guess my stunning fear of relationships is something that I have value in. For me to open myself up to anyone is a huge risk that I take. And for it to be a boy. That is amazing growth.

So...I have done this...Open myself up to someone that I thought or think is Trustworthy...and now being a girl. I'm doing the crazy girl thing of....WHY HAS HE NOT CALLED ME?? I know I know...It's silly to get all worked up about it...And Yes, I've called him and left messages and He hasn't returned my calls at all!!! So doing the complete girl thing I am wondering what I've done wrong... We were talking daily and now...It's been 2 days and nothing! I know that I am being totally girly and over reacting...Cause yes it's been only 2 days. But I'm very much the one more at risk here.... I'm the one that made the first move...I'm the one that continues to put out the idea and risk whatever result comes...

Okay...I amitt I'm being way too girl like for even me...The reaction is way too strong...I should stop waiting by the phone and live my life.

A Challenge

2006-05-25T10:24:00.000-06:00

So, I was challenged a while ago by someone that I never would have thought to challenge me. By challenged I don't mean some crazy dual though that would be extremely nifty! But no not a challenge at all. This person challenged my thoughts and beliefs. Which I love. Not everyday some makes you stop and think about things. Well, besides Charles. Charles is a belief and character builder all in one. That is the same with the challenge I got. Though the challenge came a while ago almost a month now. It has been the thought at the back of my head since. With the ever so long trips to and from work I've done a lot of thinking on this.

The challege is one to do with the past. Things that have been done in the past can we do good things now to make up for the past. Will what we do now have any effect on the past what so ever. His thought was that he was doing things now because of his past to make good on all the things that he didn't do good in his past. To me when I first heard this thought that this is a crazy idea where would someone think up this sort of thing. After think about this for a while the concept makes a little more sense. I can now understand better the idea behind it. Though me being who I am and I little bit more of a determinist then indeterminist. I think that God of course has some thing to do with our past whether we had times in which we don't want God to be there (Jen's Lush days...ask if you really want to know). Cause God is there no matter what. To me the path of my past that got me here right now is one that I know that I wouldn't want to change. IF the broken path filled with mistakes, wrong turns and trips into the wilderness is the way that I was suppose to get here then that is fine with me. God knows best and I wouldn't want to do any good to change the past. Cause the past has made who I am now and wear I am. I can do good BECAUSE of my past but not to cover it over or make up for it. Those choices are ones that I made and I am going to be proud of them!

Now to be corny and quote a country song.....

"God Bless the broken road that lead me straight to you!"

Work

2006-05-09T23:07:00.000-06:00

So, It's now the middleish of May and I can truely say that I am feeling great about life. I've just gotten a new job which I'm super excited about starting at. I am though sad about leaving my old job. It's with a great group of Women who have effected me in many ways. We have all been through a lot together and I will miss them all. But I look forword to the new challenge and experience. I wish there was a super easy way of explaininig it but there isn't so bear with me...

I'm working for a company that is contracted by an airline to run there exectutive class departure lounge at the airport. That's the easy part. It's a free lounge as long as you are a member of the exectutive class. My job is to prepare light snacks and bus tables and make sure that the passangers are happy. As my boss said "It's all done for the free sponsoured publicity that all the other companies get for being avalible in the lounge."

So, the fun with the new job comes with all the security...Yup the joy of working at the airport. There is alot of paper work to fill in. Since I will need to pass through security to get to work for the next 3 months at least with my temp. ID I get to get searched. Oh, isn't this going to be a blast!

After months of having an insanely crazy crush on one guy. I have moved on! I am free as a bird and I don't plan on getting any other crazy crushs anytime soon. Espeacially ones as complicated as the last one. Yes, there might be someone that I might have a crush on but I'm not putting any pressure on myself or this crush that I have. What maybe will be! I'm alright with that cause really I've put it into God's hands about a year ago and I ain't taking it back anytimes soon. I know that it is one thing that I have been know to obsess about. For me to give it up to God took courage and now patients. In which I feel as though I need help in having most of the time. I know that God has given me the plan for my life and I know that He will give me someone to share it with. In His time not mine.

I'm footloose and fancy free and I'm loving it!

Well...Now I feel pressure!

2006-04-21T08:43:00.000-06:00

So today...is Friday!
As a student I'm excited about writting another exam. Oh the joys of finales...It is almost punishment when the weather outside is ever so nice...but that's it and the way it should be!
So us poor students have to fight our urges to do fun out doors thing but instead stay inside and write exams. Seems kinda mean to me...

Anyways, The first blog that I have done in forever...this is thanks to Faye...She made me do it...oh the pressuer was too much I had too...

I am outing myself at this time as well...I Jen Fietz am a poet not a very good one but still I excersize that muscle all the time... So this is my annonymous poetry blog... enjoy!
http://changecontrolled.blogspot.com

Strange but true

2005-05-27T11:30:00.000-06:00

"Everyone has a gripping stranger in their lives, a stranger who unwittingly possesses a bizarre hold over you. Maybe it's the kid in cut-offs who mows your lawn or the woman wearing white shoulders who stamps your book at the library - a stranger who, if you were to come home and find a message from them on your answering machine saying, "Drop everything. I love you. Come away with me now to Florida," you'd follow them." - Douglas Coupland

I know that there is someone out there that I feel this way about. Someone that is just out of my reach. The person that I know could be the one. Yet we are still strangers.

so...now I know when I am going to die no more worries!

2005-02-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

So, I took this very exciting and intresting test that I got spamed with...cause somewhere along the way I did another test...for something...So I got a quiz called the death test...

http://www.okcupid.com/death

Which it turns out I will die... October 2062 of Cancer...so no more worries for me! I really can do anything that I want now...sky diving sounds like a great plan for tomorrow!

Jen

I love llamas!

2005-01-27T13:53:00.000-07:00

Check it out!
Llama song!

Heres a llama.
Theres a llama and another little llama.
Fuzzy llama.
Funny llama.
Llama llama duck.

Llama llama.
Cheesecake llama.
Tablet brick potato llama.
Llama llama mushroom llama.
Llama llama duck.

I was once a treehouse. I lived in a cake.
But i never saw the way, the orange slayed the rake.
I was only three years dead, but it told a tale.
And now listen child, to the safty rail.

Did you ever see a llama kiss a llama on the llama?
Llama’s llama.
Taste of llama.
Llama llama duck.

Half a llama.
Twice the llama.
Not a llama.
Farmer llama.
Llama in a car.
Alarm a llama.
Llama duck.

Is it how it’s told now?
Is it all so old?
Is it made of lemon juice?
Doorknob. ankle. cold.
Now my song is getting thin.
I’ve run out of luck.
Time for me to retire now.
And become a duck.

Hee hee I'm Deb!

2005-01-24T10:57:00.000-07:00

It's all about this movie!

Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

One of those type of experiences!

2005-01-20T13:49:00.000-07:00

So yeah...whats new you ask...well It could be something to do with my crazy panic attack I had yesterday after chapel! So me and all my chapel dates went as usaul to chapel together. It was a Missions one which was awsome and ever so good. Made everything fun and exciting! So after chapel was over...I really needed to go to the bathroom...the 2 cups of coffee, Chocolate Mint Milk Steamer, and Grape juice...kinda had something to do with it some how...So after being moched for needing to go...off I went to the bathroom...So I return for using the bathroom in the church we use for chapel...I looked for my dates and they were no where to be found or so I thought...Thinking that they got busy talking and ended up walking to the train without me...I headed outside to the train station to see if I could see them...well...they weren't there and the train pulled up and I thought maybe they are futher down the station and I just can't see them...so I was going to get on the train...but I thought I would wait and see if I had missed them and they were coming...so I waited for the next train which was shortly after the first one and got on and headed back to school....hopefully to find them waiting at my locker...So I am now back at school with no sign of them...so I head back to the station in which we get off to go to school and waited...2 trains come by and no sign of them...well I thought maybe they walked back since it was a nice day outside we tend to not mind walking...So in that case they should be back at the school by then...So off I head back to school...and now my guilt and worry have hit the high...as a good lutheran should have plenty of guilt...So I am now almost in tears as I ride the elevator back up to my locker and find them still not having arrived yet! It is 15 min before class begins and I am crying to this girl named Jennifer how I have missed placed my friends and that it is all my fault cause I had to go to the washroom! Jennifer tries to come me down by saying that they will be there and that it really isn't my fault...they are at least over the age of 18 and know how to get to the school...this doesn't stop my worring...So I end up sitting on the floor by my locker till they do finally show up....They had been waiting for me still back at the Church!!!! We just didn't even spot each other! I was never so glad to hear that ever so loud voice of Chris asking if Rachel and Tammy thought that I was there (being at school).

I know that it is just friends and we are going the same route that we have for so many times before. It just seemed to be such a big deal to me! Panic and Worry and Guilt feelings all at once. It was one of those things that God is trying to tell you something and at the time it is so real and the feelings so overwhelming that you just keep going and not try understand....I now look back on the situation and say that it was silly for me to get so worked up over it...Things that could have been done differently.... but why do that...One day I will look back on this and laugh...like today...and more then likely on our trip to chapel tomorrow!

Jen

Age is relative!

2005-01-17T14:33:00.000-07:00

Oh the fun! I always knew it!
Check it out and see how old you are!

You Are 15 Years Old

15

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

So...Back to school and back to reality!

2005-01-12T15:44:00.000-07:00

So as I am half way through my 2nd week back to school! I feel overly positive about the months ahead! Which if you know me is something that is not different from always! I feel as though life has it's ups and downs but being who I am I always look at the ups. No matter what I will look with optimism. Unless it has to do with a missing paper that my prof lost...Then the stress will make me brake down!

I feel extra blessed to be who I am...I feel as though those around me make me feel significant! To quote the almighty "Boy meets world" rerun that I watched last night....With in the sky there are many stars like there are people...Little dots in the sky...But it is my friends and family that make me feel bigger and more significant! I know that I do go on and on about what wonderful people that I have around me but I am so happy to have them in my life! I matter to them and by all the wonderful miracles that God does sometimes this seems to be one that takes the cake for me....Even though I might not be anything special in the world to them I am!

So on a lighter note! I was offended by a song I listening to recently...this wonderful secular song is about on the same level as most...I was though effected by one line that states "If you love enough you'll lie a lot!" I don't think that this is true and I just doesn't sit well with me! If this is what people think then I am scared for the world!

That is the end of my ramblings! I will leave you with the song that I am addicted to at the moment!

Jen

"Fast As I Can"

From the first "Hello" you gave to me
I've done nothing else but smile
And I know you're in a hurry
But its gonna take a while.
So forgive me if we go slow,
But there's something I think you should know

[Chorus:]

I'm goin fast as I can, please don't make me rush
This feeling's coming on way too fast
I'll tell you all of the things that you'll never forget
But I'm not ready say, "I love you" yet
I'm not ready to say "I love you" yet.

Don't push me in too deep,
I've always been the fool who rushes in.
I know, You've got to take the pieces one-by-one
For you've got everything.
So forgive me if we take time.
But there's something thats been on my mind.

[Chorus]

Oh! There'll be times when I'm mistaken
There'll be times when we're gonna fight
But you needn't doubt we can work it out
And in time we'll get it right.
So forgive me if we go slow but there's something I think you should know...

[Chorus]

By Great Big Sea

oh the joys of being a free student!

2004-12-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

I really have nothing else to say except that!
So I will leave you with a song!

"The Runaway"

if you ran to the end of the earth
i would catch you and you would be safe
if you fell down the well
i would bring you a rope and take all the pain

all the pain, all the pain
that you hide from me everyday

if youre missing i will run away
i will build a path to you
if you're missing i will run away
because I find myself in you

if i woke up alone i won't stop till i'll find you and you are with me
cause by now, i know you better than you know yourself
and i know what you really need
what you need, or i need
but either way this is where you should be
here with me, or ill bleed so much that you wont believe

if you're missing i will run away
i will build a path to you
if you're missing i will run away
because I find myself in you

you better not, you better not run
you better not, you better not run

if you're missing i will run away
i will build a path to you
if you're missing i will run away
i will find you
i will find you
i will find you

-Something Corporate 2003

Jen

This blog is brought to you by the color blue!

2004-12-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

Blue eyed boys need not apply!

Well...The ramblings of today have to do with blue eyed boys and how I am fatally attracted to them! It is gotten to the point that I don't even notice...I think it is time for a change...Brown...I think I need to date more brown eyed gentlemen...I seem to fall for one look at the ocean of blue eyes and I totally lose my heart...Especially when my nephew is involved! I have figured out the pattern that I have fallen into...I think that now is the best time for the pattern to be broken...I think I need a change...So, I will need the support from all those out there...I will need all blue eyed boys just to avoid me all together unless you are attached or way to young...But anyone with in my age range need to avoid me! But really it is my fault and that would be punishing the wonderful blue eyed boys out there...Not like I am prejudice against blue eyed people...I know lots...I just don't want to fall for any more guys with blue eyes...They seem to find me and I become overly smitten and it is dangerous! Hard on my heart!

Jen

I have no time to write right now but....

2004-12-09T11:07:00.000-07:00

I will leave you with some great pictures of some of those wonderful times I have had in the last little while...Both at the Messiah and Christmas Banquet!

http://community.webshots.com/user/vietnamron

The friends one...the other is my wonderful nephew and you can look at him all you want!

Jen

another blogger addicted!

2004-12-06T23:41:00.000-07:00

My bestfriend has joined the addiction!

http://melissapotts.blogspot.com/

Jen

I have not been swallowed by the term end monster!

2004-12-03T16:13:00.000-07:00

Well...So I guess it has really been awhile....

I went to chapel today....*insert singing of that great standby "Going to the chapel"* funny thing is that most people that go to chapel together end up married or at least dating....Little Bridle school knowledge for yah! Anywho...It was an awesome chapel talking about our Father and how he likes to lavish us with gifts...Cause we are his children!

If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! - Matthew 7:11

I really feel like I have been blessed this school year with some wonderful and great people around me...I feel like my heavenly Father has blessed me with what he feels I needed most this year...Before I knew it myself!

This also lead me to the thought of unanswered prayers...And no matter what we pray and what we want God in heaven knows what we need! For that I am so grateful! Cause I know that some of the prayers that I have had over the last 6 months have been for things that I never really needed...And sometimes from people that really can't give it! So like Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers" I truly thankful that God doesn't answer all prayers...Cause then I would not be here where I am today with the people I am.

So the Great Jen Challenge of this Christmas season... Think about the prayers that have been answered and think of thoughts that haven't...Maybe like me you will see that there are great reasons why some are answered and some are not...Take the time to Praise God for both... Cause he always knows what's best!

Jen

Unanswered Prayers

Just the other night a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn't help but think of the way things used to be

She was the one that I'd wanted for all times
And each night I'd spend prayin' that God would make her mine
And if he'd only grant me this wish I wished back then
I'd never ask for anything again

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

She wasn't quite the angel that I remembered in my dreams
And I could tell that time had changed me
Inn her eyes too it seemed
We tried to talk about the old days
There wasn't much we could recall
I guess the Lord knows what he's doin' after all

And as she walked away and I looked at my wife
And then and there I thanked the good Lord
For the gifts in my life

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Some of God's greatest gifts are all too often unanswered...
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers

Happy Advent and A Merry Christmas Season!

2004-11-29T19:39:00.000-07:00

Well...I think I have found the best way to start this wonderful Advent/Christmas season....It is called Handles Messiah! It is so amazing! My school choirs sang it last night and now I am totally in the mood for Christmas! Not only that I went with some friends and we got all dressed up in suits and dresses! It was so great and wonderful! I am not sure how I got into this wonderful group of friends this year but I am so glad I did! It was fun and I know it was the people that I went with that made it all the better! The Choir was amazing...During the Hallelujah chorus I got chills because it was so good! I wish somehow I could send it out to you and you would totally understand that there was some very spiritual singing voices...Almost angelic...hmmm...Who knows maybe there was some angles up there singing! No matter...I know that there where some great angels sitting in the audience...Some right in the same row as me! :)

So, if you want to know how great my weekend was then you need not ask anymore!

Jen

To be tempted or not to be tempted...that is up to you!

2004-11-23T15:30:00.000-07:00

Well well,

As somepeople know namely my sister...I had a wonderful and ever so exciting class...I am taking this calling, career, spirituallity course...an ever so exciting manditory class...basically understanding if what you are going into to become is really what you are called to do...So a basic waste of time for me...but I have no choice but to do it!

Anyways, I know that you are dying to know why the title of the blog and even more so...why am I talking about this ever so intresting class...well, yesterdays delightful topic was Sexuality and Ministry....I went into this thinking of the humor in which there would be...well I can say that I was ever so NOT disapointed...Jay, painted himself in to a corner very early on by saying that he could never be alone in a room with a woman cause he was not sure of what he would do....well, it was amusing for the rest of us to see him try to get out of the corner he had painted himself in! He adventually gave up trying cause he wasn't helping his situation....then Keith jumped in and cleared it all up! (to think I had be alone in the elevator with him on more then one occation! lol) The whole thing about sexuality and intimacy where ever so not inlightening...But I am glad that Jay spiced things up abit!

So that was my excitement in my ever so eventful life as a student! Not to mention that I have a saturday exam! But I am okay with it....

Jen

Okay...Now there's Pressure!

2004-11-22T11:54:00.000-07:00

When I went and started this blog...I thought well what could be more fun then some days just putting my thoughts out to no one...Just out there instead of in here...Being my brain that is...Now I feel so much more pressure...People might really read it...Does it really even matter!?! Who knows!

Well what's new you might ask...Besides the overwhelming feeling of failing...The joys of the end of the semester! Oh, I did though do one of those dumb things that people do and hurt themselves...And if you don't know me well...I often do these things...Falling into a fire pit, cutting of a piece of my toe with a table...Well, this time it is way less dramatic and I didn't visit someone from the medical community because of it...I just Burt the tip of my finger...And it has only blistered...Which means it is only 2nd degree...So I have had worse...But to be unique like always...I did it while using a hot glue gun...I was making a Scarecrow for Brownies and I stuck...My finger in the hot glue...Cause some how I had a momentary loss of common sense! So , now I have a blister and it sure is sore...And hurts to type and it is really hard to protect it with a band aid...yep can't do anything easy...
So now I have 2 papers due tomorrow and am down a finger....Have I mentioned that it is my right pointer finger...When typing it is like one of the team is down and the rest have to try and cover for it and don't do so well at it! Yup...I didn't get the brains in the family!

well...This has taken me awhile and I should stop procrastinating!
Jen

Well... I though Sunday school was somewhere you could go to trust others...my mistake!

2004-11-17T19:48:00.000-07:00

Well, after the stressful week I have gone through already. I don't even want to imagine what next week will be like! Oh, the joys of higher learning!

What's new you say... Not much...Still haven't found my prince charming yet...Or have I?!? Who knows and who at this point has the time or energy to!

So all these years we have all been lied to...It was not the Red Sea that Moses parted it was the Sea of Reeds! All of our years of Sunday school have cheated us out of great and wonderful thoughts that Moses just parted a lake...Not even a sea...Or an ocean...No it was a pond..Barely enough water to worry about...The whole dramatic idea of a great and wonderful parting of the Red sea is just a hoax, a fable, a tale...Pure fiction! Doesn't it make you wonder what else is wrong...What else we as children are taught that is wrong...I thought the church was a place in which we don't have to worry about falsehoods (lies)...But no it was a puddle that he parted! I feel almost betrayed! If it was so small the question that about why they didn't go around is a good one! And if it was so small then did Moses really need to part it? What was the REAL size of the "Sea"? Doesn't it totally ruin the pharaoh pharaoh song?!?

Oh yes Bridle College you say?!?

2004-11-05T23:39:00.000-07:00

Well for some unknown reason I have now joined the unknown life style of blogging...I am not totally sure why and I will never send this address to anyone that knows me but...I will write to the world what I see and feel fit to print... Yes unknown useless somewhat corny saying right there!
If you care...Which you must since you are reading this I am a Student in a University College. Yes the excitement of going to a Bible School is not lost on me! The excitement is sometimes overwhelming. The things that go on at school should be band and no one should ever be allowed to go ever! Or that is just a little sarcasms...Nothing exciting ever happens at school...Unless it is a new engagement cause they happen weekly....Oh and the new thing is they are starting the "ring ceremony" again... Oh the joys of Bridle college... Makes all us very single people feel all warm and fuzzy... I do take comfort in the high divorce rate in Bridle College...Oops I mean Bible Colleges.... 18% if you care to know?!?