Advent waiting

As the season of Advent swiftly approaches. God has brought me back to the idea and thought of patients. To think of what Mary and Joseph had to do to wait for the birth of Jesus. Not only them but the whole world. The promise that was made so long ago is full filled so much later. To think that I can't even wait for a day sometimes. Waiting years would be hard let alone hundreds of years.

So, as the waiting gets started and the hustle and bustle of the season is on it's way. I am reminded about the patience that is needed. I have been decorating my house for Christmas with my family. I am getting taught a lot of patientces. For those of you who don't know. I am living in a 4 bedroom half duplex with my parents, myself, my older sister (who is expecting again in Feb.) and her husband and the apple of my eye my 2 and a half year old nephew. Well, when you are use to just 3 of us in the house it is a bit more crowded. I feel selfish sometimes cause I am use to things before and I have given up the most for my family. But I just do it with out much complaining. Anyways, so decorating our house this year is interesting. First of all my mom and I do most of the decorating. We both have the things that we are good at. Our own little jobs. Well, I am some what of an interior design perfectionist. I like things the way I like um. When I say we decorate our house for Christmas. I mean this is a multi box affair with days and days of unpacking and repacking. Putting out snowman after snowman and putting away anything non Christmas like.

Well, putting up a Christmas tree with a two and a half year old taught me about patients. Putting up Christmas decorations with my sister taught me about patients. I am also learning a lot about conceding to the fact that it doesn't have to be perfect. Yes. the beads on the tree all switch levels in the front and it does not make it look perfect cause they really should be hidden at the back. And yes the rest of the tree looks outstanding. but that is the only thing that I notice when I look at the tree. Or that the lights coming up the stairs were wrong and I had to fix them.

I am though learning about patients. When I was putting up the Christmas tree with my nephew who said "this is a great party." I am reminded about the excitement and the anticipation of Christmas. That all this waiting is leading up to something great. I am learning a lot about patiences and waiting cause I know that there is a lot to wait for. In the end it is always worth the wait. Look what God made us wait for! God has great plans for us we just need to have the patiences for the waiting for the plans to work themselves out.

A Painting in Progress

So, I was talking to a friend tonight. (huh a friend...my ex really) He was telling me about his plans for the next year. I mentioned about that everyone has a journey that they are on. A road that they take. An untrodden desert. A painting in progress. No matter what it isn't anything with out God!
So what do you call it....

The moment

Ever have one of those moments when you stop and realize that there is no where in the world you would rather be then right there at that single moment.

I had one of those the other night. It was amazing! The only problem was that I know that the person I was with was wishing that they were somewhere else. That stinks!

One day they will realize what I have realized. One day...

DISTRACTED

So, I have had some pretty big things on my mind lately. Of course as a student this is not the best thing in the world at all. So, in order to make this thinking of distracting things I did the girl thing and talked to a friend. She is one of my closest friends and one that I know that I can trust with anything. So, I divulged my soul to her and instead of this making it easier not to think about it. It totally has done the complete opposite. I now am 3 times as distracted and now can't think about anything else and I have midterms and papers to do... AHHHHHHH!

I know what God's opinion is! Cause really that is what started this thinking in the first place. But now there is nothing I can do but think about it. But of course my last conversation with God told me that it should be the last thing that I should be thinking about! AHHHHHHH!

So, to summerize...I am thinking bout things that God told me but he told me not to worry or think about them. This inturn has lead to extreme distraction with no hope of actual work involved either writting a paper or studying for a midterm! AHHHHHHH!

Ed

Yes, it is overly thinking analyzing Jen for a moment....just enjoy and read/listen cause then I will know that someone cares.

So, I was watching Ed tonight. One of my all time favorite shows. The hopeless romantic that I am. It was the episode where Carol is going to marry Denise. Well, there is a line where Carol is sitting in the church debating in her head about getting married and her best friend, Molly come in. Carol asks her if she thought that she was making a mistake marring Denise. Molly replies "I can't answer you that cause no matter what the answer is you are going to look and think of the answer." Which in it's self gives away what her answer to the question is.

So, why these such ramblings. I feel the same way as Molly. I know that no matter the answer I give. It will be remembered and brought back up again. I just don't know what to say to some people that want the honest answer from you. So, my yearish long mantra has been "Happy and Supportive." I have been this way for all my friends no matter what there problem or decision is. I feel that it is not my place to give an answer that might be remembered down the road. I know that too some it might seem the easy ways. But it's the safe way!

I know that this makes little sense to all those who read my meanderings. But thanks for reading/listening!

Conversations with God

So, recently I spent some time on a pray retreat for a school field trip. Yup, a university field trip! Nothing can bring you back to the days of your childhood then a school field trip. I must say that this was one of the most remarkable times that I have ever spent with God. I heard God as clear as my own voice. I heard some things that I needed answers to. I heard somethings that I was not at all expecting! It's crazy how God is.

There are some things that he said that I feel as though I should share. The most intimate conversation that I have had with God in many months. It was amazing! Charles my prof. (really my favorite professor in the world!) used Lectio method with us in prayer. He spoke pharses out of Hebrews 11.

1. faith is the assurence of things hoped for

This was one of the most powerful times of prayer I have ever had. I have been praying about something for quite a long time. Something that I hoped for. Well, like an arrow speeding straight for my forhead. God gave me the answer. Then It felt like falling. The relief of no longer hoping just knowing that it will come true. That because I have faith it is answered!

2.By faith our ancestors received approval

This gave me the thought of my grandmother. My Granny! She has such a strong faith. She past away about 5 years ago. The thought came to mind that she would be so proud of what I am doing with my life.

3.Without faith it is impossible to please God

This one was a loud and very clear... I have had problems with a decision that I have to make about school. There is no way that I can afford school right now. I have had some issues with excepting this. I have a fear that I will never finish if I take a semester off. That I will never go back. In response as clear as day God said "Do as I say, and you will have great rewards." Well there really is no way to ignore that. It was like the Father talking to me as a child that just isn't fully understanding the what is really going on. That I am just looking at the present and not to the future.

4.By faith Abraham obeyed

This was more of the same as above! God though spoke these words to me. "Come my child, let me hold you in my arms.” This is the most relaxing thing that I had heard in a while. That no matter what I do God will hold me in his arms and protect me. This is one of those amazing things that I forget about. That no matter what my life turns out to be. I am a child of God and that I can rest in that.

5.Abraham set not knowing where he was going

God, told me that not know what is coming is something that I should worry about. For God is the one that knows and if I trust in him I will never loose my way. So, if I do never go back to school. I can trust in him that the faith that I have will continue on the journey that he has created for me. That in the end I don’t need to know where I am going for God knows and that I should not be afraid of the unknown future.

A new friend has this as there favorite bible verse and it just fits so well with me. It's like God is still talking to me now.

"Friend, you have no idea how good your love makes me feel, doubly so when I see your hospitality to fellow believers." - Philimon 1:7 (The Message)

God is great! And speaks wonderful things to those who listen!