So, I have been asked by a good friend to help out with one of her final papers by being the victim of her psychoanalyzing my past life experiences. Which is not a bad thing. I do have a past that would make many in Christian circles question my now devotion to God. Which brings me back to thinking about myself. Reminds me about the last person that truly challenged me. The one that made me think about my past as something that I now need to make up for. That my past can some how be erased by what I do now. This seems to be some sort of penance that one would do to make their life seem better. This to me is one of the most ridiculous thoughts that anyone could have. My past being what it was and how eventful it might have been or might not have been has if nothing else made me who I am and where I am. Everything that I have done whether it was a wrong or right thing to do has lead me here. This is something that I am proud of being. Here, in this moment in time. I am still clearing up some of those mistakes. Solving some of those problems.
I realized talking to and preparing to talk to this friend. That I am alright with me. I am at that age where yes I am very comfortable in my own skin. I like who I am. That I am who I am because of life and that is nothing to snicker at. Finding out who you are is a tough thing to do. This now puts a prospective on those who I look at in a romantic way. I want to have to marry and have a family. Soon rather then later but that is all up to God, I know. I am looking for someone that has the same confidence in who they are. This relates to my MSN name right now that says "I love cars, video games and sports...I am a typical girl!" Those are just some of the things that I love. I know what I like and what I don't. I know where I want my life to end up someday. I know what I truly value in life. I know what I believe and why I believe it. These are things that I am willing to put up a fight for. I am who I am and I ain't gonna let anyone change that. Well, maybe I am into experiencing new things and I am sure at some point in time I will change things. But, on major issues...people just have to get use to who I am!
So, what I am saying is that I am me. I have a past that has made me this way. I know and understand my beliefs and values. I therefor I am looking in life for a man that has the same understanding of themselves.
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That's pretty cool that God has given you that comfort. Some of the most (seemingly) confident people out here are actually the most uncomfortable with themselves. You've been given a gift, use it and enjoy it.
Always be willing to change for God(IMHO, He's the only one to be changing for).
He's gonna bring an awesome guy in to your life, one who is equally stubborn in his convictions (aligned with God, and thus aligned with yours). This will be the guy who loves the fact that you don't bend to the world. Us guys can be pretty dumb sometimes, but we can tell pretty quickly when a lady is a shape-shifter. No matter how tempting a form she may take, we know that she's not real and that it is the consistently, and persistently, Godly women that we ought to pursue.
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