Somewhere....

Was just going back over some older song post that I have posted lately. They seem to have been posted in another life time. Life seemed much more romantic then it does now. The song "What if..." with the theme of pushing someone away. Leaving them to make it easier. Looking back at it now seems ridiculous and horrible concept. That someone would wish someone away. Though I did feel like someone wanted to wish me away... To push back after I had pushed them away. It fit that place and time. Now more then ever I want to play the song almost in reverse. Like the old adage about country songs. It hurts to go back there but it is good to feel something instead of the hole and emptiness. Just thinking about it makes me cold.

So Close....

Just been watching a whole lot of Fairy Tales lately!

Just me and some mood songs!

It's just a beautiful song! that I have recently fell in love with! It's got to be my present mood....

It is in contrast to the other song that I have on repeat right now....

I love this song to death!! She has a new one that is just as good! but again fits my mood lately!

Disneyfide

I know it has been forever since I have wrote anything. I had 2 weeks holidays as you all know. I went to Disney World. I have come back with a bunch of things to blog about.

I love Disney. I truly do. I will travel half way around the world and go to a Disney theme park cause I can and I am there. I have. This though was my first trip to Disney World and it is not my last. Everything is just so perfect when you are in the presents of Disney. From the moment we arrived at the Airport till the time we Departed from the Airport everything was Disneyfide. My new coined word. Some Disney folks might call it magic...you know the magic of Disney and all. Disneyfide is a state in which is so easy for everything. So unbelievably perfect. So, after the long wait at the Toronto Airport...Aircraft Servicing canceled or flight. We arrived in Orlando to get our luggage and proceed to The Magic Express to our Disney Resort. The Pop Century Resort is the one that we where staying at. After arriving and checking in and getting our Magic Cards (Keys to the kingdom is more like it.Room key, park passes, meal card all in one. You can even add a credit card that can be charged on that card.) We arrived in our hotel room and died!

The next morning we rose went for breakfast where we purchased our travel mugs (such the best deal) and headed on the Walt Disney World Transportation System to Hollywood Studio's. The first of all of the 3 out of 4 Disney World parks that we visited. It is your typical Studio experience. Our first order of business was to get our Fast Pass(another advantage to the magic cards) for the best ride in the park (if you ask my Aunt.) Toy Story Midway Madness. It was a great first park to visit. We had a lovely dinner at the 50's dinner a must for anyone. Get the Fried Chicken! Though for us Canadians 4 pieces of Chicken is a bit much. The service is like eating at home. It truly is. The artist in me said my favorite part was the drawing class in the animation studio. I learned how to draw Goofy.

The next fun filled day we were awakened to beautiful sunny weather. Day two was Epcot. A day filled with how many different countries we can see in one day. We even got to visit our home land! We did go on my new favorite ride, Soarin'. It is a a video ride that makes you feel like you are flying. I loved it! I want to go back just to ride that one! Mission space was another great one. Nothing like feeling like you are flying in space. Then there was the test track. Again a great ride and love the feeling of the wind in my hair. We went for lunch and got fish and chips. They were lovely. Ate lunch with a lovely American couple.

The Canada pavilion.... Is lovely, the 360 movie was great it shows the beauty of our country well. I could even see my house in a couple shots. It is a good! I am proud of almost all of it. The only question I have....When was the last time you wore red and black plaid flannel shirts with brown heavy canvass skirts and lumberjack boots?
I know that I for sure did not bring them with me on this trip! We had Calpis at the Japan pavilion! My aunt loved it! We had dinner at the German Restaurant where they pronounced my last name right!!! With there cute little German accents!

Day three was again a lovely Florida day. It was Magic Kingdom day! Wahoo! oh, yeah also my Birthday! Wahoo! I have one thing to say. A Birthday at Disney is going to be the hardest thing to top! You get to wear a button and everyone wishes you happy birthday. You feel more birthday like then just at home! plus getting money to spend helps as well! After riding Pirates of the Caribbean 3 times the haunted mansion 3 times and Peter Pan twice and yes even It's a Small World. We watched the Celebration Parade. With the song that we learned to love to hate. Now as I type I have it going through my head. grrrr.... We went for my Birthday supper at Tony's Town square restaurant. In which I had Shrimp Scampi. (which I found out that my Birthday is shrimp scampi day after my birthday.) We watched the fire works and headed home.

The forth day we woke to another sunny day and headed again to Magic Kingdom. This time to do the other side of the park, tomorrowland and Mickey's Toon Town Fair. We learned that it is a good thing that my Aunt is not a driver as we did Tomorrowland speedway. I was saddened to learn that my favorite Disney ride was closed. (Space Mountian by the way) We went back to ride our favorites from the day before. We covered all that we could. I even got to ride splash mountain and get soaking wet.
Dinner this night was at The Liberty Tree Tavern. DayThis was again a great meal. Not like we had a bad meal in Disney. It was good to have the dinning package that you handed them your magic card and the bill went to all zero's was neat. The meal here as family style serve yourself and it was delicious. Ham, turkey and beef with potatoes, green beans, buns with honey butter, salad and apple crumble for dessert. It was awesome!

Day five was the slowest and laid back. We were tired after going for the first 4 days from dawn to past dusk. We went shopping at downtown Disney and had lunch at an Irish pub. It was a good time. We then just relaxed and watched the story of the Swine flu unfold on CNN. It was a good relaxing day.

Day Six was home day. We where up early getting on the magic express back to the airport in which we waited to check into our flight and got on no problems. We returned home truly exhausted and just couldn't believe how easy the trip really was.

I can't tell anyone enough how much I enjoyed my Disney World experience. I will go back. I am actually counting down the days till I can go again. I am willing to take anyone that wants to go with me. To truly understand the idea of Disneyfide you need to experience it for yourself. So if anyone is up to go....I will be there....

The Distance.....

One of my all time favorite songs....



you are coming back.....

One Moment More - Mandy Smith

I am just in love with this song! Maybe it is because I am loosing my bestfriend to another year in Korea. Just makes me a little sad.

Dawson's Music

Well, As some of you out there know that I have alittle bit of a love for the show Dawson's Creek. Okay, it is a big love. It was my first tv show that I love. Some might say it was my first love ever. I loved the teenage soap and drama of it all. It was a sad day when Dawson's Creek had there very last show. Since the show has ended I have collected all the seasons of the show and watch them probibly more then I should. But I continue to watch over and over and over again. Yes like anything I have my favorite episodes and characters. (Team Joey and Pacey all the way.) It was one of the first big shows that used music in a way that effected me. Much of the music formed and shaped some of the memories that I had of the time in my life. The music on the seansons on DVD when I finally finished collecting them all is different then what they used on the show. Due to getting permission to use the songs on the show and then on the DVD. Some songs are ones that they wanted to use on the show and couldn't or that they can't use on the DVD for other reasons.Which I was sad and not so sad about. It has given me new meaning to moments in the show that had a different song in placed of the more familiar. It gave me as deeper thoughts about some moments. One of the songs it called "if you came back to me" by Tommy Holmes. The lyrics and melody and his voice I just love.

If You Came Back to Me

if you came back to me right now
i'd have i million things to say to you if you came back to me right now
i'd probably forget than all
if you came back to me
i'd have you looking inside this hole me
if you came back to me right now
if you came back to me
do you feel anything
anything at all
do you think it's worth the pain..
worth the pain
if you came back to me right now
i'd say the world to turned out right
and if you came back to me right now
i'd say i'm doing fine
if you came back to me
i'd have to close my eyes and open them again
if you came back to me right now
if you cam back to me
do you feel anything at all
do you think it's worth the pain
worth the pain
do you feel anything at all
do you feel anything
i give my body yeah
i give my body and soul
i don't want you to be my girl

i don't want you to be my girl


I can't find a video for it. I can't even find it to download at all. I am going to put up the link to his myspace page so you too can hear it.

Tommy Holmes Myspace

Chivalry...living or dead...we want it back!

I have been obsessing over the Twilight series the last week and a half. Almost 2 weeks now. Yes, I have become one of them. Just like a Jr High girl, I know. But they are good. They are not just some vampire books. They are a great love story and I could read it over and over again. I was thinking about the story as I explain it to others all the time when I am telling them about the book. As I have explain many times that the story could be told with something other then vampires. As far as anything it is a different view and statement of Romeo and Juliet. All you need to know it the characters are different and that they want to be together anyways. They fight to be together. This is not a new concept at all. It is a very old one. But, such a tried and true formula. We always cheer for the under dog.



Since like every other girl on the planet that has read the Twilight series, I have fallen in love with the Character of Edward. He is every girls perfect man(/boy?). For me I have always been in love with the little things. Yes, they are my favorite. It is not the big grand gestures that get me all excited about some one. It is the little things. That is what I love about Edward. Every girl has fallen in love with a character so much because he has the traits that we are missing in the world when we look at men today. This generation, mine and the next and even the next are missing the key piece of training or knowledge that has not been passed down. The idea of gentlemanly manners. Chivalry.



Girls want someone to hold the door for them. They want someone to open there car door for them. They want to be made to feel special. They want not to worry about picking up the cheque. They want to be taken care of. That is why we love Edward so much. He is that guy. He does hold the door open for them. He dose open the car door for you. He makes you feel special. He protects and takes care of you. That is what I want. That is what most girls want.

So if there is any guys out there that are questioning what we girls want. Wondering if what they are doing is not working. Work on the classics. Know the right moves. That is the way to any girls heart! Well at leat mine!

What's in a name....a rose by any other name would be as sweet....

For those of you that do not know or who don't remember what I do. I work in the call center. I do enjoy my job. I has though let me come to realize that there are some names of childern out there in the world that I wonder why you would want to name your child. I have this list that I have started at work. Some yes I know that they are cultural. But even still I ask even beg parents to realize what you are doing to your children. As people add to what names they feel to be new and different. I am finding that one day all the traditional names will again become new and different as the ones that seem very different right now. Naming you child something different is not going to make them more unique. The way that people are naming there children now. The more unique the name is the more the same it will be for everyone else. I feel as though we are reaching back yes to the 60's and 70's with the moonbeam and starlight names. But in some ways they seem more ridiculus. So, after the ramblings that I have just done I give you the short list of names that I will never name my child.

20.Fabio
19. Edwina
18. Tayleesha
17. Blaise
16. Andelaine
15. Patton
14. Murdock
13. Priscilla
12. Kimball
11. Primerose
10. Chrisdalann
9. Thurston
8. Blaze
7. January
6. Ryven
5. Fawn
4. Buffy
3. Starlette
2. Blue Jay
1. Trust-In-the-Lord

I just ask those who are naming there childern to consider also what the name does when it is put against your last name. Understand the gift of a name for your child they have to live with for the rest of there life. Long after you have pass on that name is what they will have to use on there documentation. Yes, I do realize that they will havbe the option of changing there name. But that right only comes when they reach the age of 18 and till then they have to walk around the school being called Fawn. So, when you are looking for those ever so unique names that everyone is dying for there children to have. Look back to the more usual names. Though don't get me started on the spelling of names. Spell it like is should be. Don't start getting fancy with the spelling. Cause comes time to go kindergarten these children have to learn how to spell these names. Please make it easy for them. Think how hard it is on the teacher to try and explain why there name has a silent letter that doesn't make any sense or why they have an y instead of an i. Cause a y would be more unique. So, think traditional or at least not plant,animal, time or place wise. Don't name them something you would not want to be named yourself. Please spell it like it sounds or the traditional spelling. The more common the name the more unique they will be with the class of Surrey, Apple, Paxton and so on.

Were Did 2008 go and why can't I have it back?

What a year! I knew that it is really geeky to do a year in review. I wish that I was less geeky then I am I guess. I just feel like I need to highlight the challenges and the journey's I have had. Well, maybe it is not so much a year in review as a look back over my life's journey the last year. The things I have learned and the things that I want to share. As we finish up the Christmas season in the secular way. (Wahoo for the Church calendar as we are not quite done with Christmas...that is till my favorite season of all, in the Church year that is Epiphany!) So, maybe this is a review to start the next season in life the next phase in the spiritual life.

So, lets just say that it is the unpacking of this year in preparation for repacking for next year.
This is what I picked up as items packed and items that are souvenirs. ( I feel that Charles would be so proud of my theory.)

Life is hard...I know a big shock to everyone's understanding. I know, huge Epiphany there. No, I mean it really is hard. I never knew how hard it was till this past year. See what everyone has gone through in my family. Some times it is so hard that is sucks! With my Dad and all it has been hard and ever so trying. Flying from Calgary to Toronto...and back and forth and back and forth. The strength to just survive the airport in Toronto alone is unbelievable, let alone while ill. I still marvel at that. My Dad's strength to go on in life is something that I have learned to admire. He didn't ask to be sick or did he make himself sick. Yet, he blames no one. There is little talk about going after the people that made him sick. It happened in the past and I guess there is no reason to be angry about it.

My Mom is a rock. I have seen her go through a lot this year. I mean her name should be Peter. For she is the Rock that our family is built on. She still amazes me by what she did and is doing for not only my Dad but for my whole family I am blessed to have her as my Mom. I have learned to give more then I receive from her. I am not a good receiver because of it. I have learned to take care of those that need it. She has taught me the meaning of God giving you what you can handle. With every new thing she takes it in stride.
She is still teaching me about what type of Mother I want to be some day and a wife. .I still remember the most heartbreaking moment is last Christmas when my Mom came home after seeing my dad in the hospital and he wasn't looking good and she curled up and bed with me. (my mom and I slept together a lot then for comfort more then anything.) She said to me "He's my whole world." I want someone to be my whole world and for me to be theirs.

I am okay by myself. I know my last blog really went over it. BUT just to go over it. I went to Japan and Korea...It still feels like a dream...I went all by myself...I can do things that I want to do just with myself. It's not just that though. I lived the better part of a year all by myself. I did survive. I ate and cooked and got around. I went to the museum and out to brunch on a Sunday all by myself. I still have that great memory that I will never give up. I could live the rest of my life with myself and I could be okay. This is not saying that this is the greatest desire that I have for my life. I want to get married and I do want a family. But, I am okay till then!

God is Great! I know that is something that you should be reminded of all the time. But in the past year I have had encounters with people and moments that I know that God exists. There are moments...Lunch with Vickie by the beach and most beautiful place for shrine ever...Being Stuck on the mountain in Korea with Luke...Getting the medical plan for my Dad...Him going through and surviving everything that he has...The smile in that my nephew has when he laughs... My Niece's laugh...There are so many more big and little moments that make's me believe without a shadow of a doubt that God is Great! That God is the Father in heaven that blesses all with his presents! I do Love him like I could love anyone!

So, as this years journey ends and the next one begins....I hope I learn half as much or more of what I learned this year. I feel that I have been challenged and I feel that the challenges and learning experiences are not done in life. I just hope that maybe they will be a little less dramatic. I pray that everyone else learns and gains knowledge of what God is doing in there lives and takes the time to look back on the year and does there own unpacking and repacking.
For the journey never ends. The destination might look different but it is the gathering of experiences that you have that give the Epiphany journey some meaning. Work on the thing that looks unworkable. Take all you need and leave the rest. There are souvenirs that are worth taking home and others that are meant to cherish for a while and then be left in the end in the hotel room. I challenge everyone to unpack and repack for the new adventure is about to start.

Top 10 Things I learned from my trip!

10. That Canadians are liked by most people

9. That Celebrities do have it rough

8. That being Caucasian in an Asian Country is a little like being a celebrity

7. Vending Machines should be everywhere in all countries. Not limited to drinks either!

6. That North Americans in any service industry that gets tipped have it easy. To tip is an insult in Japan and Korea

5. Chopsticks - Japan so easy and regular. Korea flat metal and easy once you get use to them.

4. Rice - eat all in Japan or you insult the host. Don't eat all in Korea or you haven't had enough to eat

3. Japanese people have a large addiction to fuzzy mickey mouse ears and hats.

2. Ontario really is the center of the universe...well according to Koreans. Koreans like to talk about Ontario. Japanese like to talk about the Mountains.

1. Calpis

my trip!

I have returned from my trip not the same as I left. I feel that I have changed. I feel like I have grown. I am guessing that all trips should make you feel this way. You learn new things on new adventures whether they are great international trips or road trips across this great nation of ours or if you fly in a plane for hours or travel in a car for days. I feel that all journeys are important and are indeed moments of growth are within them.
I feel I have come back stronger then what I left. I have learned that I can be alone. I can eat by myself, I can tour a city by myself, and I can enjoy Disneyland alone. I am okay alone! I feel stronger because of it! I feel whole.
God lead me on this trip. Every aspect of me going on this trip was easy. I had more money then I need to be able to go. Every time I turned around I was getting money in the mail from pension pay outs or some other thing. God wanted me to go. I wanted to go. I needed to go.
I feel now that I can go anywhere and do anything. Once you have mastered 2 things I feel like you can travel anywhere. First, the point and order (this is really key in Asia, they are fans of pictures on there menus). You need no language connection if you can point to what you want. Always look for the picture menus. Second and equally as important is Charades. If you can mime it they will eventually know what you are looking, asking, telling them about. This is really useful in the case of a search of a washroom (toilet).
There are some things that I feel that one should know languge wise when travelling...Hello and thank you. When you are a tourist being polite Canadian is what you want to be. I felt that I never learned these 2 things in Korea and I wish I knew them.
So, you know when you are doing something that is going to be a great adventure but you really don't realize it. The ah ha Epiphany moment, (thank you charles!) that you have at any moment on an adventure or journey. I had a couple, first one would be when I first got to Tokyo and I am following the direction that my little hotel has give to get there. I have taken the limo bus to another hotel. I get a cab with the automatic door and a driver with a hat and white gloves. As I hand over the address to my hotel. This is where I need to explain addresses in Japan. First of all I should say I never knew this till later in my trip. Addresses in Japan are for a general area not to a direct location. Like one might say that my address could be 1013-7-10, Huntington hills, Calgary. Yup, very descriptive. So, I was in a taxi where the driver punch's the address in to the GPS and comes up with the route that the GPS gives it to get to my hotel. Well, GPS does not know about buildings and other things that get in the way of the most direct routes in Japan. I am in the taxi where the driver gets lost and somewhat confused by the directions the GPS has given him. He starts what I think of as swearing in Japanese. Me not knowing any Japanese at all and not understanding what he is say. I can tell by the tone of voice and his body languge that this is not a good situation for him. There are 3 things that are going through my mind at this point in time. First, This guy is wishing that this white person didn't get into his taxi to begin with. Second, I have no way of helping him at all and lastly and the factly the most important thing..."Wholy sh$t I am in Japan and what the hell was I thinking that I could do this all by myself. I don't know the languge. I don't know anyone.what am I doing here." The driver did turn around when we got to a gate that we could not go through and did get me there safe and sound. I was ever so releved to see the outside of the hotel that I had seen in pictures!
My second one is much more personal. The whole trip was the ah ha I can do this by myself. I can travel and figure things out by myself. If I needed to I can do it. I could live in a foreign country and enjoy it even. Or at least know enough to get by.

Stormy Cloudy Love?

There has been tons of stuff flying and floating around in my head this past while. It all seems somewhat always there. In the middle of all this mixed up and tossed around thoughts. I am trying to find God. I am fighting to figure out what God wants from me. I know what I want. But would like to factor God into this equation as well. Maybe it just my rationalization of life and yes love that I am too good at. Maybe my sister is right. I am waiting for that fairytale romantic notion of what love is as seen in the countless movies that I do watch. Maybe as one has said, "You don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in the movie."

It has seemed as of late that there is and has been plenty of focus on love. People I know starting out those buddy romances,people getting married, people trying to fix me up with people, And People questioning my romantic love life or lack there of.

I thought that I was sure of when you know you know...But how do you know? What makes one realize who the right one for them is?

when the perfect song finds you in the perfect mood

"Don't Wanna Think About You"
by Simple Plan

Can you leave me here alone now
I don't wanna hear you say
That you know me
That I should be
Always doin what you say

Cuz I'm tryin to get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I Don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
I won't let you bring me down
Cuz I know
I don't wanna think about you

Don't wanna think about you

When I wake up here tomorrow
Things will never be the same
Cuz I won't wait
Cuz you won't change
And you'll always be this way

Now I'm gonna get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
This time I won't let you bring me down
Won't let you shut me out
This time I know
I don't wanna think about you

Run away
Run away
Running as fast as I can
Run away
Run away
I'll never come back again
Run away
Run away

Don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
Don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna talk this one out

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out (figure this out)
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
This time I won't let you bring me down (bring me down)
Won't let you shut me out (shut me out)
This time I know
I don't wanna think about you

Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you
Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you
Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you

New Camera...New Photo!

My sister keeps telling me that I have a gift. I am starting to believe that I do. I take sometimes beautiful pictures of Children.

I Miss You!

When You're Gone
BY AVRIL LAVIGNE

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now

[Chorus]

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

[Chorus]

Missing You
BY AMY GRANT

Your smile lights up a room
Like a candle in the dark
It warms me through and through
And I guess that I had dreamed
We would never be apart
But that dream did not come true

[Chorus:]
Missing you is just a part of living
Missing you feels like a way of life
I'm living out the life that I've been given
But baby I still wish you were mine

And I cannot hear the telephone
Jangle on the wall
And not feel a hopefull thrill
And I cannot help but smile
At any news of you at all
And I guess I always will

[Chorus]

Diamonds....

Coffee Shop
by Landon Piggs

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you

No one understands me quite like you do
Through all of the shadowy corners of me

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the waters that make your eyes shine
Now I'm shining too

Because oh because
I've fallen quite hard over over you

If I didnt know you, I'd rather not know
If I couldnt have you, I'd rather be alone

I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while I never knew
I never knew just what it was about this old coffee shop
I love so much
All of the while, I never knew

All of the while , all of the while

I am absolutely in love with this song. I fall for songs every once and a while. (I am a sucker for anything acoustic. If you play acoustic I could love you forever!) I fell in love with this song like most who have heard it in the diamond commercial. (diamonds are forever) Though every time I watch the commercial I am slightly irritated. Why one would ask...because of the context in which the song is used. Do to the lyrics. The first verse is what is used in the commercial.

I think that possibly, maybe I'm falling for you
Yes theres a chance that I've fallen quite hard over you.
I've seen the paths that your eyes wander down
I want to come too

So, like me a hopeless romantic that I am. I picture the perfect proposal moment as I hear the lyrics. Really I see my proposal moment. I see candle light, roses, chocolate and this song either being played to me or in the background. It is perfect.

But the real commercial falls short of all these dreams.