So yeah...whats new you ask...well It could be something to do with my crazy panic attack I had yesterday after chapel! So me and all my chapel dates went as usaul to chapel together. It was a Missions one which was awsome and ever so good. Made everything fun and exciting! So after chapel was over...I really needed to go to the bathroom...the 2 cups of coffee, Chocolate Mint Milk Steamer, and Grape juice...kinda had something to do with it some how...So after being moched for needing to go...off I went to the bathroom...So I return for using the bathroom in the church we use for chapel...I looked for my dates and they were no where to be found or so I thought...Thinking that they got busy talking and ended up walking to the train without me...I headed outside to the train station to see if I could see them...well...they weren't there and the train pulled up and I thought maybe they are futher down the station and I just can't see them...so I was going to get on the train...but I thought I would wait and see if I had missed them and they were coming...so I waited for the next train which was shortly after the first one and got on and headed back to school....hopefully to find them waiting at my locker...So I am now back at school with no sign of them...so I head back to the station in which we get off to go to school and waited...2 trains come by and no sign of them...well I thought maybe they walked back since it was a nice day outside we tend to not mind walking...So in that case they should be back at the school by then...So off I head back to school...and now my guilt and worry have hit the high...as a good lutheran should have plenty of guilt...So I am now almost in tears as I ride the elevator back up to my locker and find them still not having arrived yet! It is 15 min before class begins and I am crying to this girl named Jennifer how I have missed placed my friends and that it is all my fault cause I had to go to the washroom! Jennifer tries to come me down by saying that they will be there and that it really isn't my fault...they are at least over the age of 18 and know how to get to the school...this doesn't stop my worring...So I end up sitting on the floor by my locker till they do finally show up....They had been waiting for me still back at the Church!!!! We just didn't even spot each other! I was never so glad to hear that ever so loud voice of Chris asking if Rachel and Tammy thought that I was there (being at school).
I know that it is just friends and we are going the same route that we have for so many times before. It just seemed to be such a big deal to me! Panic and Worry and Guilt feelings all at once. It was one of those things that God is trying to tell you something and at the time it is so real and the feelings so overwhelming that you just keep going and not try understand....I now look back on the situation and say that it was silly for me to get so worked up over it...Things that could have been done differently.... but why do that...One day I will look back on this and laugh...like today...and more then likely on our trip to chapel tomorrow!
Jen
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